Official Chimp ☕️

Official Chimp of the Social Media Jungle

[Matt Walsh @MattWalshBlog]

Look at all the mugshots. There is no reason for this animal to still be alive. It's completely insane that we don't just execute chronically violent barbarians who do nothing with their lives except inflict suffering on innocent people.

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@nobulart Did they shut down CERN? 🤔

[Enes Kanter FREEDOM @EnesFreedom]

After careful consideration and reviewing the current eligibility guidelines,
I’m officially declaring myself a @WNBA prospect.

If simply declaring who you are is all that’s required, then I meet every single requirement necessary to compete in the WNBA.

My team and I have carefully examined the WNBA’s eligibility criteria and governing framework surrounding self-identification and inclusion. Based on the current guidelines, I can and am officially declaring my eligibility for the upcoming WNBA draft in April 2027.

I know my presence on the court will stir up strong opinions.
I am definitely not here to mock, make fun of, or disrespect any community or personal choices.
I’m simply asking that the current rules be applied equally to everyone — the rules that represent the very values many WNBA players and coaches have publicly advocated for.
My team and I are prepared to ensure these guidelines are applied equally, consistently, and without exception, and I look forward to the #WNBA honoring its stated principles.

See you at training camp.

https://t.co/zlwWpVF0Ou

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@fasc1nate She was going to the bathroom behind the walls?

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@SteveAustinWI Dear Madison,

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@tmj4 Dear Madison,

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@JoshuaLisec It’s time that we do a little Franco.

[Fan Commentary: Joe Rogan Recaps @JoeRoganRecaps]

Joe Rogan might be in real danger after historical investigator Timothy Alberino just leaked classified Pentagon information about a group of Marines who were all killed by a single unarmed 1,100 pound humanoid in Afghanistan:

ALBERINO: “A team of Marines in Afghanistan stormed a cave hunting for Taliban, but they were instead met by an enormous giant who killed them all.”

ROGAN: “WHAT?! That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. So the giant just got away?”

ALBERINO: “They then deployed another unit to go look for that team. When the team got to the cave that giant was in the middle of eating the dead soldiers.”

ROGAN: “You can’t be serious. So what did the giant do to this unit?”

ALBERINO: “This new unit went in fully prepared so they were able to successfully kill the giant.”

ROGAN: “Did you ever try to find records of who was there and what casualties were reported?”

ALBERINO: “It’s very difficult to get that kind of information.”

ROGAN: “I’m sure.”

ALBERINO: “The Pentagon released a bizarre statement years ago saying that the giant Kandahar incident never happened.”

ROGAN: “The Pentagon actually said this? That makes me feel sketchy.”

ALBERINO: “The pilot told me they weighed the giant before loading him on the plane. He got measured at 10-12 feet tall and 1,100 pounds.”

ROGAN: “1,100 pounds? That can’t be a human. Who else have you spoken with about this?”

ALBERINO: “I asked a commander about the Kandahar giant. The blood rushed out of his face and he points to his phone because he thought they might be listening.

His wife then whispered to me that he’s not allowed to talk about that.”

ROGAN: “Ohhh my god.”

ALBERINO: “What I later learned is that it’s not the single giant of Kandahar, it’s the GIANTS. There’s more than one.”

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@JoshuaLisec “What’s mine is mine…

…and what’s yours is mine.”

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@MattWalshBlog It’s clear that White people need to defend and take pride in White culture.

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@Devon_Eriksen_ Men seek peace.

Disturb the peace and men go to war.

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@fasc1nate A young Waylon Jennings on bass guitar.

[Cernovich @Cernovich]

We ain’t doing this Covid shit again.

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@redsteeze Looks like a pine cone

[Wendy @teachthemx3]

I have a senior on my roster who hasn’t attended my class a single day this semester. She showed up today for the first time.

We have 7 days left before grades are finalized for seniors.

My administrator just asked me to see what I can do to help her graduate.

In case anyone here is a new follower, this is why I’m leaving public education.

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@JoshuaLisec The Plant-Based Diet™️ is a virtue signaling disguise for radicalized narcissists.

I wonder what percent of Antifa is vegan…

[Colin Wright @SwipeWright]

My updated cartoon is unfortunately still relevant.

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@Timcast Kentucky Fried Haiku:

Kentucky is home
To birds that are fried in this
Finger lickin’ poem

[Official Chimp ☕️ @officialchimp]

@_StuckinBoston @BenVerlander @NjTank99 ABS signal should be…