Tela Tiquila

Filling the void. If I had a nickel for each time I've heard THAT. Parody site, obviously.

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

I didn't have the heart to tell him that someone had already explored that strange new world.

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

I dressed up in a sexy Star Trek outfit and told my boyfriend to boldly go where no one had gone before... so he pooped on my chest.

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

I AM LEGIT! Too legit to quit. #TakeThatHammer

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Support @KCRW. I like having Friends With Fringe Benefits. #PublicRadioRocks #MarryMeGarthTrinidad

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

I was offered a spot on #Lost... Or someone wanted to strand me on a desert island. Whatever.

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Had a dream about Casey last night. In this one there was joy in Mudville as he hit a bloop single into right field. #ReadABookPeople

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Fame is like a drug... Or so I've been told #HighOnLife #BridgeInBrooklynToSellYou

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Not a baby bump. Just had a big lunch. #ILoveChipotle http://twitpic.com/114ep5

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Turned down Super Bowl invite. Had enough of The Big Game already. #SeeWhatIDidThere #HungLikeARaceHorse

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Believe in Angels! They have a good pitching rotation, and Torii Hunter is HOT! #toriiisagirlsnamesoicanlikehimright

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Even my movie got nominated for the #oscars. Wait, it didn't? Well, it is nice to be invited. Wait, I wasn't?

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Want to make up with @PerezHilton. I stay at his hotels all the time. I thought they'd be pinker, though.

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

I was asked to join Season 2 of Jersey Shore. Too tacky for me, thanks. #potmeetkettle

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Bisexuality is overrated. It just doubles the number of people I can disappoint. #girlswhoareboyswholikeboystobegirls

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

I can't adopt quake refugees. They say I can't even find Haiti on a map. Well, it HAS moved recently. #toosoon

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Thinking of deleting my MySpace and Facebook acct. Also thinking of deleting Google. Not my profile. Google. I OWN THE INTERNET BITCHES!

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

My name is pronounced "Tell a Tick will ya?" I loved that comic book. SPOON!

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Never mind the Broncos. I haven't played in Denver in twenty years. Neither have they, for that matter.

[Tela Tiquila @officialtela]

Who is the father? Is it Chief Running Water? Chef? Mephisto? Officer Barbrady? 1991 Denver Broncos?