(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell)

I should have been a pair of ragged claws Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@MrBrexit Damn right - it should be run by Rupert Murdoch. And it will be.

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@kate_kennedy1 Just watched it. Loved your Helena - you really excel at the physical comedy on top of everything else.

[Justin Wolfers @JustinWolfers]

Amazing.

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@MitchBenn Make sure to punch your producer in the face on the way out.

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@kerihw I'm picturing a long grease smear all the way down.

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@michaelianblack Damn Jews and their ability to write books people want to read. It's clearly a conspiracy, I tell ya…

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@AnneWheaton

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@malbeck7 @iainlee Plenty of people see "ghosts". Doesn't mean there are ghosts: https://t.co/8piU9BydAn

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@marcusbrig Definitely Remain, although the Remain campaign has been appalling. Lots of reasons to stay in, very few to leave.

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@jonathancoulton @paulandstorm @scalzi WHAT ABOUT EGG MCMUFFINS

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@paulandstorm It's that third kind of heat. Tans people five times faster than regular tanning beds.

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

I'm going to invent a robot pagan priest and call it an Andruid SHUT UP I TOTALLY AM

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@tinysubversions So it's a reboot of the Clinton presidency but now with a female cast?

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@lauraolin @tinysubversions TBH if we have to suffer through yet another remake/reboot at least they did something different with this one.

[Brad Willis @BradWillis]

Saw a heart attack symptom checklist yesterday that included “sense of doom,” which means it’s possible I’ve been having one since I was 14.

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

I appear to have made a grave mistake in my last tweet. Apologies.

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

L'homme armè
Doigt on doubter.

#plusçachange

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

the saddest biscuits in the world

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

@hughlaurie I only ever hear from my MP at elections but he's an inoffensive, scandal-free backbencher so that's something, I suppose.

[(Jo(hn (Ru)ss)ell) @offthebellcurve]

I don't just make this stuff up you know.

Well, not *all* of it.

https://t.co/wNmanL5yzs