Edgar

❝I'm no longer affiliated with the church. If you're fine with that, then let's get started.❞

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

❝𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝐿𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑟 𝑞𝑢𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 ⎯

𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚.❞

🕯Returning OC
🕯Former priest
🕯Mature content

The unorthodox exorcist.

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

Did I not mention the part about tying them to chairs?

[✧ 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. @tyrsdag]

No, I mean— you don't have a way to keep them from causing more harm while you're working?

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

"Trade secrets," Edgar answered, not inclined to give up any potential advantages,

"If I told you, then I'd have to exorcise you."

One day his sarcasm really would get him killed

[ʟᴏʀᴅ ʙᴇᴇʟᴢᴇʙ��ʙ 🪰 @N0FLIES0NME]

That's what demons were like, known for their mind games, testing how far they could push a person's will, then pushing a little further.

Bee was still cautious of the weapons.

"What kind of things?"

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

//day 500+ of wishing I remembered the login for @sinnamonSugars

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

//don't mind Edgar he's just a dick 😭

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

The /people/ whose bodies they're possessing??

[✧ 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. @tyrsdag]

The— The /demons/?

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

https://t.co/5ZKnchgmKZ

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

[🕯 Musical Inspiration: ]

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

https://t.co/dPDRzSjw0T

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

[🕯 Musical Inspiration: ]

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

❝𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝐿𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑟 𝑞𝑢𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 ⎯

𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚.❞

🕯Returning OC
🕯Former priest
🕯Mature content

The unorthodox exorcist.

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

I can't hurt them when it's not their fault.

I try not to, anyway.

[✧ 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. @tyrsdag]

If you get beat up by demons that often without any defense, it's safer to carry /something/.

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

"Ideally, no," he answered, feeling knocked off balance by the flirtatious tone. One hand squeezed the leather strap of his bag, the other slipping the dagger bag into it with a deft twist.

"I don't like resorting to sharp objects until I've tried a few other options first."

[ʟᴏʀᴅ ʙᴇᴇʟᴢᴇʙᴜʙ 🪰 @N0FLIES0NME]

They just expected an array of weapons.

"Maaaaybe. Ooh, what a big sack you've got", of course the demon /had/ to be suggestive while looking at the satchel.

"That's a big one~", referring to the dagger, but not wanting it poking into them.

"Got a target in mind?"

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

...Should I be walking around with a crossbow?

[✧ 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. @tyrsdag]

That's all?????

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

Charms, wards, incantations...

A marble cheese board, once.

[✧ 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. @tyrsdag]

Right... How do you defend yourself?

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐻𝑎𝑟𝑑-𝐾𝑛𝑜𝑐𝑘 𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 ♪

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

Depends; for the difficult ones I spend 90% of it getting beat to shit.

Easier jobs, I don't even have to set down my coffee cup.

[✧ 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. @tyrsdag]

Yes? How do yours usually go?

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

Google Search: how to explain to a man that you're not trying to "steal" his girlfriend, you're trying to purify her house

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

Is that how your exorcisms usually go?

[✧ 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. @tyrsdag]

I meant... the demons.

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

Weapons... plural?

"What am I, Van Helsing?" Edgar grumbled, flipping open the satchel that hung across his body.

His weapons tended to be of the metaphysical variety, save for-

"You mean this?"

He allowed a glimpse of a ritualistic dagger.

[ʟᴏʀᴅ ʙᴇᴇʟᴢᴇʙᴜʙ 🪰 @N0FLIES0NME]

"Maybe, but that wouldn't be as much fun, would it?"

Definitely. Pointless, but worth a shot.

"Show me your weapons."

[Edgar @OfHellAndHaunts]

Wouldn't it be a bad idea to fully "match freak" with someone who's been possessed?

[✧ 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧����𝐞𝐫𝐬. @tyrsdag]

Oh, I think... you have to mean it, but not everyone has it in them, and that's okay.

[Jaskier (S4) @HisLuteStrings]

I imagine being an exorcist is sort of like being a Witcher. Except without the swords, and without the enhanced body, and the fact that a real monster would probably eat him.