The Fairy Godfather

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

If you can love a dickhead, then you can love yourself. The end.
#selflove

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

@LordFootyTips An extra £1K a month thanks to @LordFootyTips. Forget the rest and join the best.

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

@LordFootyTips @carlsberg don't make tipsters, but if they did...

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

@LordFootyTips Winning 🙌🙌

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

@LordFootyTips Praise the Lord 🙌

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

@YorkshireTea Someone obviously made the correct decision at the right time.

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

@LordFootyTips The Lord giveth 👌

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

@LordFootyTips BOOOOOM!!!

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

@SarahBeacham86 🤣🤣🤣

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

I created a new trig point at Loughrigg fell, after the OG one had collapsed. #DIY #loughrigg #hiking #lakedistrict #nationalpark

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

Dear people who make underwear, please understand we don't need huge labels that are double stiched and itch like a futher mucker. Regards, everybody

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

You have to fuck one, k*** one, marry one, and block one.... Go!

1. Piers Morgan
2. Adam Levine
3. Man holding fish in profile photo
4. Kanye West

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

I dont mind doing a bit of DIY before I eat out.

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

There are currently 6 planets in retrograde—and they have absolutely sweet fuck all to do with your life, or any of the bullshit that's going on in it.

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

Why isn't there a "I can see you calling, but I don't want to answer—although I do want to continue using my phone, without you knowing that I know you're trying to call me" button on phones?

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

Have dating apps made dating easier?

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

What do you wish men knew and/or understood more about?

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

Maroon flag, Auburn flag, Magenta flag, Fuchsia flag, Mahogany flag, Scarlet flag, Claret flag, Cerise flag and Oxblood flag— are all still red flags! So don't give me any bullshit with your different colour flags—like you're some genius who's found a loophole, okay?

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

Has he fallen in love with you fast—or is he "love bombing" because he needs somewhere to live to save money? #hobosexual

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

Dear women, If you're walking your dog, and you think I'm staring at you, please don't feel threatened—I'm just wanting to stroke your dog, not play with your pussy.

[The Fairy Godfather @ogtfg]

If you're a fuckboy and you've just found out where the clitoris is— CONGRATULATIONS! 🎉 Now you need to level up and find the G-spot! I mean, if you're going to lie to women to obtain sex, then you should at least make it worth their while!