April Harding

I like sweatpants and Barbra Streisand.

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

Why do good wizards validate Voldemort by calling him “Lord” Voldemort? Why not just call him Mean Tom? Tommy the Bad Guy? Bully T?

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: Hold your horses.

5-year-old: I don't have any horses.

Me: It means calm down.

5: I can't. My horses are gone.

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

@spook_elor I’d be happy to lend you my Breath of the Wild

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

@spook_elor Only one hour?

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

Had a piece of Parmesan crusted into my Birkenstock #lesbian

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

I wish my building had a pringles vending machine

[BoringTrump @Boring_Trump]

How does popcorn even work?

[Beytwicé @lotoysrus]

Why y’all keep asking where the police at? Y’all ask where Miley’s at when Hannah’s on stage?

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

A true midwestern bar contains a Mich Golden Lite with a pickle and a bartender that brings in a crock pot of sloppy joe’s for everyone

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

fuck FRIENDS for fat shaming Monica and for Ross in general

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

@samlikesbooks

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

@jaysenhoein Okay but suuuuuper interesting dialogue. We are the things we create, no?

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

@kelswid Oh my god Oklaheauxma

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

lol when your high school principal comments on your sobriety post

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

honestly Chopped Junior is all television ever needed

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

@beaSleaze You haven’t already?

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

My only goal in life is to be a pillow for animals

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

@trixiemattel plz tell @brandicarlile that you’re coming to Girls Just Wanna Weekend this year thx bye

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

Stranger Things s4 is just [intense synth music], [ominous synth music], and [squelching] on loop.

[April Harding @ohheyapril]

@congletoonz Kiwi Menstruation