dais

If you can't be the prettiest person at the party you might as well be the drunkest.

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Fucked that there are a million songs about love but only one about working at the car wash

[salute @saluteAUT]

if you saw thomas bangalter djing last night i am telling you right now that i am not happy for you because it should have been me.

ME !!!!!!

[trash jones @jzux]

the horrors persist but so do the diet cokes

[Ciara Knight @Ciara_Knight]

BREAKING: everyone is allowed have a little cigarette today just to keep them going

[Caroline @carolinekwan]

Michael Phelps is literally referred to as a freak of nature because of his disproportionate wingspan, double jointed ankles, lung capacity twice that of an average human, body that produces half the lactic acid of a typical athlete, and he is rightly celebrated for being the greatest male swimmer in history. Meanwhile, female athletes with genetic differences are legally discriminated against and harassed to no end. This is not about “protecting women in sports” - this is about protecting a very specific idea of what a woman is.

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

it’s so unfortunate that he’s so fucking funny

[Chris Thorburn @CBThorburn]

Don't try to convince me cancel culture is real when Feathers McGraw is walking free right now.

[boss @boss_on_here]

the right sandwich eaten at the right time can show you the light of God

[James @CaucasianJames]

woke up with butterflies in my stomach now i know why

[aiman @dumbsoftheart]

sorry karl marx i want to buy things

[george @StokeyyG2]

There’s forfeits and then there’s this… too far

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

There’s honestly nothing better than being with family for 15, max 20 minutes

[Gwdihŵ 🦉 @youwouldknow]

Me getting my clothes caught on a door handle when I’m already in a bad mood

[one of ur hoes @miliondollameat]

i be staring at leftovers like