goo

recluse

[goo @ohshitgio]

good lord almighty

[mugshawtys @mugshawtys]

possession of a machine gun, possession of a firearm silencer, and possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute

[mugshawtys @mugshawtys]

possession of a machine gun, possession of a firearm silencer, and possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute

[🦢 @kayswan_]

me: i just smoked

IDIOT FRIEND: "was it indica or sativa?"

me: bro it was fucking crack

*dies of crack overdose*

*ambulance comes and brings me back to life*

me: holy shit wtf happened

paramedics: u smoking too much crack my boy 😂😂😂😂

me: damn. where my crack at tho

paramedic: *dies*

me: i guess i know where the rest of my crack went 😂😂😂

other paramedic: actually he had a serious history of heart problems and just had a heart attack

me: bruh

other paramedic: nah jk bro smoked ALL of your crack

me: that fucking fiend. anyway please dont charge me for saving my life

paramedic: why shouldn't i?

me: cuz i need to buy more crack mf 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

paramedic: ZOOWEEMAMA

rowley: wtf mike did u jus steal my joke

me: yeah

jeff kinney: yeah buddy ur getting sued for $500m

me: wtf 🤯 how am i going to buy anymore crack now???

el chapo: did someone say crack?

the 3 CIA vans all parked outside my house because they were going to commit a sting operation on me: EL CHAPO FREEZE U ARE UNDER ARREST FOR LIKE EVERY CRIME EVER

el chapo: zooweemama 😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😭😭😂😂😭😭😭😂😂😂😭

The End.

[goo @ohshitgio]

of course da pharmacy didn’t have my script ready and now have to wait till tmrw when i’m on tha verge of losing it lmao😵‍💫😵‍💫

[goo @ohshitgio]

made a call now i’m back on dem pills😵‍💫

[goo @ohshitgio]

this isn't urgent at all but my infant son is at the bottom of the pool

[Trill Burr @ReloadedJu]

She said

[saturn metta @saturnasagirl]

this shit the opposite of lean, you pouring up a pint of perfect posture

[Fat @cantlosefat]

hate i had to fuck wit any of you niggas thats my only regret

[goo @ohshitgio]

making her wear one of those cones you put on animals so she stops biting me

[goo @ohshitgio]

narrowly dodging my next-door neighbor's anvil only to be crushed by my next-next-door neighbor's grand piano

[ella @ellaaaaaaaa888]

why as a man are u driving a benz

[abir @aburducky]

Took my white roommate to an indian buffet

[Pericles @PerryALPHA]

3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196442881097566593344612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912983367336244065664308602139494639522473719070217986094370277053921717629317675238467481846766940513200056812714526356082778577134275778960917363717872146844090122495343014654958537105079227968925892354201995611212902196086403441815981362977477130996051870721134999999837297804995105973173281609631859502445945534690830264252230825334468503526193118817101000313783875288658753320838142061717766914730359825349042875546873115956286388235378759375195778185778053217122680661300192787661119590921642019893809525720106548586327886593615338182796823030195203530185296899577362259941389124972177528347913151557485724245415069595082953311686172785588907509838175463746493931925506040092770167113900984882401285836160356370766010471018194295559619894676783744944825537977472684710404753464620804668425906949129331367702898915210475216205696602405803815019351125338243003558764024749647326391419927260426992279678235478163600934172164121992458631503028618297455570674983850549458858692699569092721079750930295532116534498720275596023648066549911988183479775356636980742654252786255181841757467289097777279380008164706001614524919217321721477235014144197356854816136115735255213347574184946843852332390739414333454776241686251898356948556209921922218427255025425688767179049460165346680498862723279178608578438382796797668145410095388378636095068006422512520511739298489608412848862694560424196528502221066118630674427862203919494504712371378696095636437191728746776465757396241389086583264599581339047802759009946576407895126946839835259570982582262052248940772671947826848260147699090264013639443745530506820349625245174939965143142980919065925093722169646151570985838741059788595977297549893016175392846813826868386894277415599185592524595395943104997252468084598727364469584865383673622262609912460805124388439045124413654976278079771569143599770012961608944169486855584840635342207222582848864815845602850601684273945226746767889525213852254995466672782398645659611635488623057745649803559363456817432411251507606947945109659609402522887971089314566913686722874894056010150330861792868092087476091782493858900971490967598526136554978189312978482168299894872265880485756401427047755513237964145152374623436454285844479526586782105114135473573952311342716610213596953623144295248493718711014576540359027993440374200731057853906219838744780847848968332144571386875194350643021845319104848100537061468067491927819119793995206141966342875444064374512371819217999839101591956181467514269123974894090718649423196156794520809514655022523160388193014209376213785595663893778708303906979207734672218256259966150142150306803844773454920260541466592520149744285073251866600213243408819071048633173464965145390579626856100550810665879699816357473638405257145910289706414011097120628043903975951567715770042033786993600723055876317635942187312514712053292819182618612586732157919841484882916447060957527069572209175671167229109816909152801735067127485832228718352093539657251210835791513698820914442100675103346711031412671113699086585163983150197016515116851714376576183515565088490998985998238734552833163550764791853589322618548963213293308985706420467525907091548141654985946163718027098199430992448895757128289059232332609729971208443357326548938239119325974636673058360414281388303203824903758985243744170291327656180937734440307074692112019130203303801976211011004492932151608424448596376698389522868478312355265821314495768572624334418930396864262434107732269780280731891544110104468232527162010526522721116603

[goo @ohshitgio]

boss got on me cuz i keep flicking off and throwing gang signs at the cameras when he lookin :l

[goo @ohshitgio]

why my brain gotta constantly make me feel like i’m running away from an axe murderer for no reason 😐😐😐

[thugga alii @agldus]

these four emojis will determine your valentine's day