Sam

Where be his quiddities now?

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

And you may find yourself
In another part of the world

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@Polygon @doomquasar Obviously it’s fake, if they put real liquid in there it would ruin your computer.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@RossBarkan You could have looked at past coverage to see this simply isn’t true.
It may be hard for you to believe, but some people actually have principles.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@MikeSington The finished sandwiches? Obviously. The plastic gloves, cook surfaces, utensils, and such? No, not food. Hope this helps.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@benpartridge Ah, but look what happened to the mummy.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@JoshDenny @kanyewest You’re blaming culture at large when the actual problem is that you’re bad at research? People have been explaining why Kanye’s ideology is not only objectively wrong, but also morally objectionable for years. He’s just not receptive to anything but flattery.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@WhiteClaw Gross.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@martinvars Technically Uber isn’t a government.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@Jim_Jordan Why are Republicans so desperate to be lied to? Is reality that overwhelming that you need a security blanket of fantasies from frauds like Jim Jordan?

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@marcorubio It wouldn’t hurt to verify the political activist’s story before you start dehumanizing your own constituents and trying to provoke retaliatory violence against your critics.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@mattyglesias Have you actually met her or did listen to some songs and get overwhelmed and confused?

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@nycsouthpaw I can’t believe ted’s face is still melting off.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@NRO @michaelbd You’re about 80 years too late for the appeasement dialogue. It doesn’t work.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@TomCottonAR Do you ever regret making a career out of attacking Americans or are your foreign sponsors generous enough that you’ve entirely forgotten what it was like to have a spine?

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@SeamusBlackley @Twitter Maybe most people won’t notice a difference, but his commitment to making terrible people feel welcome doesn’t inspire much faith. Likewise his free speech absolutism that makes an exception for speech he doesn’t like.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@nycsouthpaw Likewise bagels.
Similarly, the unthinking confidence with which Neil deGrasse Tyson rushes into obvious errors on all matters pop culture makes me wonder how analytical rigorous his scientific work could possibly be.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@colinmdownes I inferred the existence of that film after seeing Shelley Duval in the Shining.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@nycsouthpaw Might as well just get a keg at that point.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@mrjohndarby Too few ulcers?

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@wrtv Sure would be a shame if police departments destroyed the credibility of their officers as witnesses at trial by instinctively defaulting to obvious compulsive lies every time they interact with the press.

[Sam @OldBaconFace]

@wrtv We have less propaganda if police officers weren’t too embarrassed to acknowledge they’d had panic attacks.