🎀

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

Checking locations. Everyone better be home. Not me tho.

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

The biggest scariest man in the room is most likely my ex

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

Madonna whore complex because he’s not husband material

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

That 5’8 man would have ruined my gene pool.

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

My 6’5 tatted ex husband called…don’t tell my boyfriends

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

Telling men I don’t like talking about their exes cause I can play that game too and it’s going to hurt your feelings and make you feel insecure when both my muscular 6’5 tatted beards, call

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

She’s so me

[ComingOfAge @El_Minajesty95]

" before we get married i gotta go fuck this guy"

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

girls will see a picture of themselves from the lowest moment of their life and be like “omg I was so skinny…”

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

Some days I feel like a villain who accidentally got the hero job.

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

“Suggested for you” and it’s men I’ve deemed an enemy

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

If I’m straight now, can I still invite my gay ex’s to the wedding?

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

@rhYsistenZ @b__________t Cyber ciggie if you will and yes I’d love to

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

Taste in music will never impress me because I code to Ariana grande

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

I don’t even know who I was talking about lol

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

Unbeknownst to me… I have an arch nemesis and she knows my name. I wonder what her name is???

[🎀 @olddirtyvneckk]

My wedding favors

[Kan @SleeppyGuy]

Every place should serve this