Elderly Don Draper

Ad man. Semi-retired. From the Midwest. It's impolite to talk about yourself.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

I admire the Energizer Bunny, but grudgingly. There is no subtext to its message.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

Utz products, I could sell. A taco made of snack chips? In its own sad way that sells itself.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

Int. NY apt. Day. We open on a glamorous, Fr. Canadian wife in a clingy robe. She's angry. [Stay with me. This turns into a great Lysol ad.]

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

Someone asked me about a campaign's "social media" component. I hope the bifocals didn't block my glare. And that they hid my sadness.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

Just had a brilliant idea: dancing beans. No, wait. That's a terrible idea.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

I remember that mannequin fondly.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

I think I was supposed to do something yesterday.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

Happy New Year.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

Merry Christmas.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

I pride myself on never having used a talking animal of any species.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

I don't know if there's a place for me in a world of talking vaginas.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

I suddenly feel as if years have been added to my life.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

I know what Groupon's going through. Our "Coupon Missile Crisis" push became one of the firm's worst-received campaigns.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

Done.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

Someone tried to explain what "post-modernism" meant to me once. I think I finally got it watching that Camaro ad.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

I get that Pepsi Max is trying to appeal to men. Beyond that, I have no idea what their ads are trying to say.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

Whether dragons or colonial forces, Coke resolves conflicts. It's a variation on an old theme, but I like it.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

I'm struggling to find something to say about the "cram it in the boot" ad. It's... no. It's... no. All right. "Terrible" is the right word.

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

These people with weird hair talking about cell phones and wearing glowing jumpsuits: Are they part of the Black Eyed Peas too?

[Elderly Don Draper @olddondraper]

Why are the people from that Xoom commercial cheering on those singing robots?