If I ever talk about my life in any sincere way on here, or show one second of vulnerability, or post three consecutive tweets without calling myself a fat pig, just know that my phone was stolen and I was murdered at an Applebee’s. Thanks.
The US govt also named Uribe as a big time narco trafficker and Uribe was named the de facto boss of a major drug cartel by its members. Says a lot about the US' "war on drugs" and Trump that they continue the country's love affair with a criminal like Álvaro Uribe!
Under Uribe, the Colombian army dressed up an innocent village in military fatigues, then murdered them in cold blood in order to get monetary bonuses for killing "guerrillas".
Known today as the False Positive scandal, Uribe tried to cover that up.
You worship these celebrity comedians like they’re sacred cows, but you fail to realize that if my parents were as rich as theirs, I would have paid to have my dick turned into a machine gun a long time ago.