Olive

please laugh she/her

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

Men b like “I need a girl as funny as me” then quote John Mulaney for an hour and a half.

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

Yeah think I’m going to go ahead and delete this stupid app because I’m too embarrassed to have that dumbass x on my Home Screen 🤪❤️🥰

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

@DerKlownstein This is what I look like now for reference.

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

Got a French Bob haircut today and nobody even said “wow Olivia looking very French today!” And it kinda hurt my feelings

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

@DerKlownstein Rip :-(

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

Cannot believe she’s married :-( this is a betrayal I take very personally :-(

[Will Mac Aoidh 🍋 @WillMacAoidh]

Anya Taylor-Joy and her husband look like they would go to any lengths to win a figure skating championship.

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

Just saw a man wearing a shirt that said bacon, whiskey, freedom on it, and I feel like that’s the live laugh love of the male world

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

@wshakesqueer I have and you’re right

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

Sometimes I have to remind myself to soften my face at work so I don’t walk around looking like this all day.

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

Paula Abdul? You mean the artist of a generation? Yeah that’s what I thought.

[its legal for you to follow porksweats.bsky.social @porksweats1]

reservoir dogs (1992)

[Matt Binder @MattBinder]

the reason they do this is because some people's mothers are dead

this is not some LGBTQ thing for you people to be weird about https://t.co/hkthZza0Cc

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

Was reading Faulkner in the break room and one of the line cooks was like “is that a romance novel?” And I was like “no it’s Faulkner” and he was like “is that a person or a new kind of book?” And I think he’s my favorite coworker of all time.

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

@wshakesqueer He wants me so bad smh 🙄

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

Used to go out with this guy who said I looked like Scarlett Johansson and I thought he was nuts… but now? Idk, he may have been onto something there…

[caroline, unfortunately @carolineepace]

You passed a bill 10 days ago lowering the age limit for a gun permit… please be fucking for real right now

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

@liviokay Thank you queen 😘

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

Skincare friends! Been using a gentle cleanser, clarifying lotion, retinol, eye cream and moisturizing lotion with SPF. My skin is thriving but I can’t get rid of some old acne scars :-/ anyone have any advice? Something I should add or take out of my routine?

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

@liviokay Sweeeet! Any brands you’d suggest?

[Olive @oliveheadnelson]

@DerKlownstein OMG tell your mom thank you and I’m looking into it 🫡🫡🫡