Oliver King

[SimpsonsEFL @EflSimpsons]

McTominay: “you’re Casemiro!”
Casemiro: “yeh, so?”

“You play Defensive midfield!”
“Yes”

“I play Defensive midfield”
“So?”

“Well, are you better than me?”
“Well, I've never met you, but... yes.” #mufc

[Andy Murray @andy_murray]

Please record the awkward moment when you tell them you’ve spent most of your career campaigning to have people from Eastern Europe deported.😉

[David Hendon @davehendon]

Sorry to learn Piers Morgan has been sacked from GMB. I’ve left him a message of sympathy on my own voicemail.

[Bianca Westwood @beewestwood]

I’ll say it again. If you need to draw lines it’s on side.

[Matthew Evans @Matty99wolves]

Boris Johnson telling us the roadmap out of lockdown

[90s WWE @90sWWE]

😂😂😂

[🤘🔥 DANNY RAGE 🔥🤘 @DanielTRush87]

-someone being racist

*Glass shatters*

STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD

[harry moore @Harry_Moore_]

today’s had it all but my highlight has been dominic cummings leaving his house with a finding nemo ball, a film all about a stupid cunt who endangers his family, friends and neighbours by breaking simple rules and travelling long distances not once but twice

[Joe Crann @YesWeCrann]

I’ll never not watch this start to finish when it ends up on my timeline.

[terry christian @terrychristian]

Piers Morgan comes out as a cunt - https://t.co/vjGA8EJVvw

[Ivo Graham @IvoGraham]

Still struggling to see how any voter’s first priority in this election could be anything other than the total and final humiliation of Boris Johnson as a person

[GadFly* @FPL_Fly]

How old were you when you realised the Chicago Bulls logo upside down was a robot shagging a crab?

[Oh God, What Now? – the politics podcast @OhGodWhatNowPod]

"I am on your side." No you fucking aren't, you third-rate, xenophobic, cowardly, hostile-environment-creating, half-the-country-ignoring, cheap, delusional, lying FAILURE. You are everything this country isn't.

[Ian Dunt @IanDunt]

Sweet mother of Gid she is the most hapless ghoulish buffoon.

[Dom Joly @domjoly]

Speak English. Integrate or go home...

[Warren Sharp @SharpFootball]

One of the absolute worst things about NFL commentary during broadcasts is blaming failure on players/execution rather than coaching via play calls or deeper discussion of -EV strategy & scheme. It’s horrible.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Stop kissing My ass and start not raping kids.

[Jake. @YedIin]

On this episode of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares https://t.co/33ZYjpJ7t4