🙃

Functioning moron. Half monster, half virgin. Inconceivable disappointment. 24

[morrissey enjoyer @morrisseyenjoyr]

i respect retail employees more than i respect the military

[clover 🩷 @gayjaehee]

i’m glad i was not born with a dick because i would hate the feeling of something between my legs constantly, especially because it would be so massive :/

[ash @spidermanakgae]

mj better than me if he pulled this look he’d be leaving pregnant

[I'm alright @sammy1714]

Tom Holland has been suffering back pain, due to carrying the global box office this summer

[=ㅅ= @milfbeomgyu]

ppl trying to show up to the tom holland summer blow out after odyssey and brand new day but i saw how yall were talking abt him not even a year ago… this food is for day one tom truthers only

[🕷️❤️ @dayasmatcha]

how it feels being a tom spider-man truther since civil war https://t.co/hKJyXSRRO8

[َ🧁 @1auvender]

odysseus and them were so determined to live i would’ve kms in that cave

[ᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ @tropicaIghost]

i’d probably get kicked off of love island for saying “i’m going to kill myself” after every single thing that happens

[mariana @pastapilled]

"my parents wouldn't let me watch SpongeBob and I turned out fine" a caged bird thinks flying is an illness

[a weirdo @Fat_December]

Look at this fucking cat I saw today. He kept leaning out of his stroller to play with flowers

[Rika Uindou @uindourika]

The most disastrous consequence of American globalism was Europeans saying “y’all” and “ain’t”. Its like seeing a dog hold a spoon. Very unusual and very scary.

[sophie ౨ৎ @literaryswift]

I think it’s very cool and sexy to be in your twenties and never date anyone and have a weird relationship with intimacy, personally

[isa ☆ @isabelsrevenge]

mexicans be like

[#CUT4NEWJEANS 🔪 @seafoodboil2004]

its really nothing to be ashamed of especially since half the men of this generation are nazi disciples

[furmerly ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ ❗⚡️🃏 @furmerly]

did that last year n i was actively thinking of ways to off myself whilst looking at ducks splash around in the river

[Lara Friedman @LaraFriedmanDC]

“And it’s being done to try, in vain, to protect the reputation of Israel.”

[grace @gracefishlove]

one day i’ll try this sex thing and see wassup

[vivi @mooncatvivi]

need a job to survive. don’t really want to survive. depression makes it hard to work. work makes me depressed. horse alone