Emmex⚡

GOD. LAW. FINANCE. 🌏

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

You are always there.
You answer.
You help.
You remember birthdays.
You show up.
But being present does not automatically mean you are deeply valued.
Sometimes people become comfortable receiving your care without realising how little they return.
Love should feel shared.
Not borrowed.

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

It would be wrong to say that marriage is losing value among modern men. It has not become less valuable, men and people in general are becoming more selective about who they give access to in their lives. Waiting a few extra years may be far less costly than spending decades with the wrong person. In the end, what truly determines the success of a marriage is its quality not the age at which it happened.

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

How To Lead As A Husband

How to Lead As A Husband

A home without a leader is a home in constant tension.

Not because conflict is happening, but because nobody knows who is responsible for the direction, nobody knows who carries the weight when things go wrong, and nobody knows where the family is going or who is steering it there.

Women do not want to lead the home. They want to be led.

When a man does not lead, the woman is forced to fill that vacuum. She does not enjoy it; she resents it, and she resents him for making her carry what was never hers to carry.

Most men confuse this with a woman who wants control. She does not. She wants certainty, and she wants to know the man she is with can be trusted to carry the direction of the family.

That is not the same thing.

Leadership Is Not Control
A man who confuses leadership with control will destroy the relationship while believing he is leading it.
Control looks like demanding to know everything, restricting her freedom, making decisions that serve his ego instead of the family, and using fear instead of respect to maintain his position.

Leadership looks nothing like that.

Leadership is direction. It is knowing where the family is going and communicating it clearly, making decisions, even difficult ones, with the family’s best interest at the centre, and being the stability in the room when everything around is unstable.

Remaining calm when she is emotional, and remaining certain when she is doubtful.

A woman under strong, loving leadership blossoms.
She becomes softer, more trusting, and more invested, because she knows the ship has a captain and the captain knows where they are going.

A woman who has to lead a man she was supposed to follow becomes hard, bitter, and disrespectful. Not because she changed, but because the environment changed her.

What Leading Actually Looks Like Daily
It is not dramatic. It is quiet and consistent.
Making a decision and standing by it instead of asking her what she thinks at every turn.

Handling a problem before she has to bring it to you twice.
Maintaining your composure when she is testing yours.
Having a plan for the family and executing it without needing her constant reassurance that you are doing the right thing.

Holding your standard inside the relationship even when lowering it would be easier.
Being the same man in private that you present yourself to be in public.
That is leadership. Every single day. In the ordinary moments, not just the big ones.

Why She Tests Your Leadership

Every woman tests the man she is with. This is not malicious; it is instinct.
She needs to know if your frame holds under pressure, and she needs to know if you can be broken, because a man who can be broken by a woman cannot protect her, cannot lead her, and cannot be trusted with her future.
When she is difficult, and you remain calm, she is not making your life hard. She is checking the foundation.

When she pushes back on your decision, and you hold your ground calmly without aggression, she is not being disrespectful. She is verifying that the man she is following knows where he is going.

Every time you pass the test, the respect deepens. Every time you fail it, the respect retreats, and enough retreated respect becomes a woman who has quietly stopped following a man she has decided she cannot trust to lead.

Be The Man She Needs You To Be

She does not need perfection.
She needs consistency, she needs direction, and she needs to know that when the storms come, the man beside her will not fold.
Be that man. Not for her sake alone, but for yours.

A man who leads well does not just build a better relationship; he builds a better version of himself.

The discipline required to lead consistently is the same discipline that builds everything else worth having in a man’s life.
Lead your home. It is not optional; it is your assignment.

-GSW-

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

My wife had a two-year relationship going on when I met her.
Her family knew the guy
He had been with her since she started her first job with a commercial bank as a marketer
He was a banking officer in another branch of the same bank

They had what you would call a steady relationship that would lead to marriage
I was single and working hard to make something of my life
I had completed my degree at 21 and returned to Nigeria to work with my dad on his spare part import business
We worked together for two years, and before my father gave me the seed money to start a branch of the same company in Agidingbi
My Father's shop was at Ladipo, and a lot of customers came to our shop over there to buy goods

I went to open the shop, and we began to do business
Money started rolling in, but it was mostly not ours to keep, as we still got goods from my father's shop and had to move the funds back to the main shop at Ladipo daily
Eventually we stabilised, and I began to buy goods that I noticed were moving in the market with my own money to sell alongside my father's goods

Money kept rolling in, but this time, some of the money was mine.
I think the bank where my wife was working at the time then decided to visit markets to encourage traders to open bank accounts or something like that
Anyway, my wife was the one who came to my shop
She greeted me, and all I saw was this clean, cream, London-accented babe in a spare parts shop.

When I studied in London, I met several ladies like her, but I couldn't date them because most of them would prefer to stay back in London and not return to Nigeria.
I switched my accent immediately, and it shocked her!
I told her I schooled in the UK for my secondary and University education and only came to Nigeria for my NYSC and stayed back to work with my dad

She told me about the bank account. I laughed and said she would have to follow me home because I have stacks of cash at home that I have not had the time to count or separate (which one was mine and which one was my father's).
She smiled and said I should lead the way

We got to my flat and spent five hours straight counting money, doing the accounting, and talking.
She went back to her bank with all the cash at about 7 pm
She had landed a whale (hahahaha)
She was back at my shop the next day with my banking documents
I asked her to dinner, and she obliged
I closed from my office at about 7 pm, and she rode with me to my house, where I showered and changed before we proceeded to Isaac John for dinner.

After dinner, we were back at my flat.
She never left again until I met her parents the following weekend and we got married three months later.

You can ask what happened to the guy she had been dating for two years until the week that she met me.
I will tell you it is not my business
I never asked, and my wife never showed any sign of being heartbroken or longing for him in any way.
He was just a placeholder until I showed up.

We have been married now for twelve years. We have three children and are currently on holiday in Austria.
I read one of your posts where you wrote about people sometimes being in relationships which they know in their heart will not lead to a marriage, but they still sometimes stay in it while searching for their Mr or Miss Right, and I decided to send this to you.

Please don't assume that money is the reason my wife chose me. I told you we had many things in common without actually spelling it out.
The fact that I was financially ready could be argued in support of the wedding and marriage, but long before that, I knew I would marry her the moment she stepped into my mechanic spare part workshop in a red skirt, white crop top, grey suit and a body that was screaming "Hold Me".

I love reading your articles, GSW
I love your way of being a Christian.

-Darlington Ejike

[Alero Ejeye @Alero_Ejeye]

Young people don’t just inherit the consequences of leadership; we live through them.

Grateful for the opportunity to discuss Pocket Pressure, Youth Voices & Staying Afloat on @lagostelevision

Here’s to more conversations that matter. 🇳🇬

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

Love for a partner is not unconditional.

“But it should be! You should stand by them no matter what!”
Oh?
What if they cheat?
What if they abuse you?
What if they’re living a separate life you don’t know about?
What if they lied about fundamental parts of themselves?
What if you constantly fight?
What if they don’t want the same things as you?
What if they…you get it.

I believe that we get into a lot of trouble if we adopt the mindset that relationships should endure literally anything.

This can EASILY keep us in negative, toxic, abusive, or harmful relationships for no other reason but completely blind and irrational levels of commitment.
Yes, you should be fully dedicated to your partner with every fiber of your being, but they must earn this dedication, just as you must in return.
If someone betrays your trust, your wellbeing, your loyalty, or your love…then they lose the right to maintain it.

That’s how it works. We have to earn the right to have someone in our lives. We should never take them for granted, never make them feel undervalued or overlooked.

Remember: Your wellbeing is paramount, no matter how much you love someone. If the person you’re with is taking away from the quality of your life more than they’re adding to it, then you need to seriously reflect on whether or not they actually deserve to be in your life.

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

When people show you these warning signs, don’t hesitate to walk away.

Dishonest people have proven themselves unreliable, while selfish individuals have demonstrated they’ll never truly care about your feelings or needs.

Betrayal of trust and intentional harm are deal-breakers in any relationship. People who engage in these behaviours don’t deserve a place in your life. When faced with such situations, we need to be decisive in creating distance and ending these toxic connections.

Learning to protect ourselves from repeat offences is crucial. Surround yourself with people who genuinely deserve your trust and demonstrate their reliability through consistent, caring actions. Building relationships with those who respect and value you is the key to living a happy, healthy life.

Ultimately, recognising when someone isn’t worth your time isn’t about being harsh — it’s about being wise enough to invest your energy where it will be genuinely appreciated and reciprocated.

Choose people who lift you up, support your growth, and demonstrate through their actions that they’re worthy of your trust and friendship.

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

Nobody likes to talk about money. It can be awkward. Uncomfortable. Even, embarrassing.

It’s also a huge and necessary part of life, and understanding each other’s position and trajectory is important when it comes to decision making.

Will bills be split 50/50, or will you pay 70% if you make 70% of the household income?

Will one of you stay home while the other works or runs a business full time? How much will you allocate for savings, travel, or fun expenses?

If one of you wants to make a big purchase, what’s the process there? Do you still ask permission if you’re the one bringing home the bacon?

Discussing finances can be uncomfortable…but guessing about your partner’s financial status without knowing how they really feel or where they stand can lead to assumptions that may cause conflicts down the road.

Financial stress is one of the leading (reported) causes of divorce. It can be immensely difficult to navigate and overcome, but if we stay focused on the true value of our relationship, I believe we can work together to overcome any of these challenges.

#IssuesToDiscussBeforeSayingIDo

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

Nobody makes it 10, 20, 30, 40+ years unless they both decide to. The hope is that they decide for *the right reasons.*
So if you’re looking for the person it all lines up with, you’ll never find them.
Instead, choose someone who also chooses you. No amount of love or compatibility matters if a person doesn’t want to continue the relationship.
Choose someone who decides to commit to you, decides to work through things, decides to communicate, compromise, and collaborate.
You can create compatibility if you prioritise these things (mutually).
No, you shouldn’t try to fit a square peg in a round hole, but you do need to recognise the reality of relationships, which is that they are built over time, not simply fallen into.
Staying together is a choice. Fully accepting your partner is a choice.
You don’t “fall” in love; you choose to build it together.
If you ask me, that creates a stronger foundation than expecting to find something by random chance and just hoping it works out.
If you both commit to choosing each other every day despite the difficulties, that’s what makes it work.

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

When you marry someone, you’re not just marrying them…you’re marrying their whole family.

Some come from a huge family, which means big, loud holidays, lots of hugs and kisses, and an “it takes a village” approach to raising kids.

Some others come from families where external relatives are viewed with suspicion. Some have labelled all their extended family members as witches, wizards, village people, strong man of the family, destiny users, glory hunters etc

If you come from the first kind of family and you are marrying someone from the second kind of family, there will be huge problems down the road

Some people love to have family around, some don't.

Family dynamics are about finding the balance between existing traditions and creating new ones of your own. You are embarking on a new adventure to create a new life alongside a new partner — but you are also looking to stay true to your roots and connected to your loved ones.

How do you walk this line?

Through discussing and setting expectations and how you’re going to handle family events and responsibilities.

A relationship is only between the two people involved, but the truth is that merging two families together can be a challenge if there are different worldviews or cultural norms.

As long as everyone is supportive, loving, and open-minded, this should bring far more positives than negatives.

#IssuesToDiscussBeforeSayingIDo

[Kate😶‍🌫️ @katehqs]

I think one of the most heartfelt experiences in life is discovering that someone genuinely enjoys your presence. Not what you provide, Not your accomplishments. Just you, your thoughts, your energy, your existence.

[Muna of the Most High @munaokoroigwe]

In 2022, I went for evangelism at Mile One Market in Port Harcourt and preached the gospel to several people, including some street guys.

One of the street guys I spoke to was a DJ. I encouraged him to return to church, and he gave his life to Christ. He promised to change his ways and start attending church again.

A few years later, this same young man is now preaching the gospel and hosting crusades. 😭🤍 My heart is so full. I am beyond grateful to God.

It truly pays to preach the gospel.

You never really know what God is doing with the seeds you plant in the hearts of people each time you share His Word.

Never get tired of preaching the gospel. Many lives will be saved because of your obedience!

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

On body count, I write this to both the man and the woman: respect yourself and keep it at a minimum.

You might be wondering why I didn't write "zero".

Zero is the beginning of minimum.

When it gets to a stage where you cannot talk about your body count without looking down in shame and making excuses, you are saying that "You lacked a sense of self-accountability" in your past.

Sowing wild oats for the man and the woman is not a flex anymore.

Live your life in such a manner that you will be proud of your future self, and you will be able to talk about your past without having to lie or cower in shame.

And to you who has a cemetery full of body count but told yourself you will just lie, after all, "It does not read like a meter"

You cannot lie forever.

Someone who knew you will talk, or you will have a slip of tongue, or your partner will meet someone who will say to him, "He was a wildling once, or she was a wild one once"

From that point onwards, the fragile walls of your trust and faith would crack

I remember asking a lady once what her body count was, and she said, "So many that I cannot even count".
I asked a young man the same thing, and he said, "Think of all the numbers you can and then add threesomes, orgies and so on to it, that's me"

Both of them till today still suffer from commitment issues and couldn't get married even though they desire it

The impact of promiscuity on the human psyche is very huge.

Don't destroy yourself in the name of having fun.

#IssuesToDiscussBeforeSayingIDo

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

You have always had a hard time opening up to others, even your best friends but with them there is something so magnetic and emotionally safe about their aura. You feel no guilt or shame in sharing your deepest thoughts and expressing your truest feelings or vulnerabilities in front of them.

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

He tells her something hard. A fear, an uncertainty, something he’s struggling with. And he means it as sharing rather than as an invitation for her to take the weight of it. He can be open about something difficult without that openness becoming her problem to resolve. He brought it because he wanted her to know him, not because he needed her to carry it.
What this changes: Vulnerability between them becomes a real exchange rather than a transfer of responsibility. She can know the difficult parts of him without being recruited to manage them. And his vulnerability, offered this cleanly, invites hers. The relationship deepens because both people can be real in it.

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

There is an unparalleled degree of understanding you share with them. You both have such a unique and extraordinary chemistry that even the most ordinary moments and tasks become exciting and fun when you do them together.

[Ebele @SirEbele]

Several believers are called into entertainment; but the true church is not an entertainment centre.

Several believers are called into education; but the true church is not an educational institution

Several believers are called into health; but the true church is not a medical hospital

Several believers are called into music; but the true church is not a music band

Several believers are called into social media; but the true church is not an online platform

Several believers are called into public speaking; but the true church is not a motivational stage

Several believers are called into business; but the true church is not a business centre

Several believers are called into armed defence; but the church is not the navy or the police force.

Several believers are called into politics and government; but the true church is apolitical and belongs to a kingdom that is not of this world

Several believers are called into into various things; but the true church is only about one thing

The true church has only ONE calling - the HEAVENLY CALL of God in Christ Jesus. Church is from the word -EKKLESIA which means "called OUT ones"

We are first called out of the world PERMANENTLY and then sent back into it TEMPORARILY -Not to get back in; but to get people out.

We are not here to be here; we are here to be There.

We are here because we have been called out to be There.

Here is our mission; There is our vision
Here is our office, There is our home
Here is our resource, There is our Source
We are in this world; but we are of the world to come
Here is just a season; and Christ is our only reason

First the Cross was before us and the world behind us; then we were sent back into the world; but still the Cross is before us. Christ is our Reason for everything. And Him crucified.

So,

We do not glory in Dubai
We do not glory in London
We do not glory in New York
We do not glory in Kyoto
We do not glory in St. Petersburg
We do not glory in Casablanca
We do not glory in Paris
We do not glory in Venice

We do not glory in what might have been achieved by the Tower of Babel; we glory in what we have received since the Day of Pentecost.

And the world and all that is in it is passing away - only he who does the will of the Father will abide forever.

So we have callings to excel in, in all these places;
But our sights are set on things above.

Our citizenship is in Heaven.

Our temporary individual callings are secondary to and because of, our collective eternal calling.

For here we have no continuing city; but in everything we do;

We seek the one to come.

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

The person who is meant for you will feel different than others. You will feel emotionally safe to be truly and authentically yourself in their company. A sense of calm and belongingness will prevail with them around that you haven’t felt before, even in silence or in conversations.

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

You’re going to have disagreements, arguments, and conflicts. During the times when you’re most frustrated, train yourself to remember all of the reasons why you’re in this relationship to begin with.
A partner who is constantly looking at the exit door in a relationship or who keeps several options on the phone in case you mess up and/or constantly threatens you that he or she will walk away if you don't get your acts together is not a keeper.
If he or she is not there for the long haul and to build something meaningful together with you in spite of your differences, there is no point being with such a person

#GreenflagThursday

[Akinjide Adekola Oke Esq @brosjay_flex]

Big flex, innit?