Angela

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

If by "daddy issues", you mean my dad taught me not to take any shit, then yes, I have daddy issues.

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

@UnimpressedWU Right in under the wire 😂

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

Me, selling something on Facebook marketplace: This brown couch has brown fabric and brown legs. I purchased it in Brownsville, Brownsylvania in Browntober.

Potential buyer: what color is it?

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

I’m sorry, I can’t talk right now. I’m busy mourning the death of a dog on the internet that I’ve never actually met.

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

Whoever made these cookies needs to calm tf down.

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

@eris_erinyes Awwww, baby carrot. My condolences. ☹️❤️

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

When he’s 6’6” but then you get him home and discover…

[katie @katefeetie]

hearing my coworkers say "did you hear about that submarine" from across the room

[Shelly NitNots @MsNitnots]

I lost my cool for a second but I found it now.

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

@MsMcQuin Funny, no one else seems to complain.

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

I just realized that I can control the TV in my sons room with my phone from all the way downstairs.

Let the torture begin.

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

Ever notice how they have tuna salad and chicken salad and even ham salad but no beef salad? What’s that about?

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about. Except for me.
I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

[boss up @angelsobadd_]

Headphones aint enough,I need the song up my ass

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

Me: I’m an introvert

Vodka: The fuck you are

[Logan Williams @LoganMaeW]

@bessbell I got a new hairdo and my then 6yo’s best friend told me ‘wow! You look just like Taylor swift! Well, except for your face. And your clothes. And your body’.

My bangs. My bangs looked like Taylor’s.

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

Why do cats eat wet food and then immediately groom themselves?

“That was wonderful gravy, I think I’ll spread a thin layer all over my body”

[Cam Harless @camharless]

every american president, but they're all cool and they all sport a mullet

46. Joe Biden

[Geraldine Just Follow TheEverywhereist on Threads @everywhereist]

Happy Valentine's Day from me and the raccoons that have been fucking on my deck all day.

[Angela @onlyangela0921]

The cat sneezed into my open mouth this morning, so I’m definitely going to come down with a random deadly cat virus.

Honestly, it’s how I always expected to go.