comedy central

Tweeting quotes, jokes, advice, & facts that relate to your everyday life, so Read my tweet and enjoy every moment of life.

[RaMo @RaMoSirOfficial]

5months to check 36k copies!
Now another 5months to form committee!
Is this digital India we dreamt of?
#MODIJI_HelpUs @narendramodi @PMOIndia @DoPTGoI @DrJitendraSingh #ssc_ufm

[The_curious_fancier @TFancier]

#MODIJI_HelpUs
Sir we the candidates of SSC preparing for 1 exam going on for 2 years now. Our career is being mocked at by the SSC by disqualifying us on laughable rule. Which was neither in the notification, admit card nor a single corrigendum was issued before exam. @PMOIndia

[RaMo @RaMoSirOfficial]

Scrap UFM based on "Imaginary" as it is "Arbitrary" "Ambiguous" "Open-ended" and "Against Principal of justice.”

A tool that is being misused to "Unfairly Force Meritorious Students Out of Merit”!

#SSC_UFM #MODIJI_HelpUs @narendramodi @PMOIndia

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

"English = Hello.

Spanish = Hola.

French = Bonjour.

Japanese = Konnichiwa.

Chinese = Nî Hâo.

Italian = Ciao.

Me = Sup B*tch."""

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

When you study, you thinking
30% cellphone,
25 % hungry,
15 % other people,
25% movies,
4% other,
1% book
RT if you agree"

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

There are 5 types of fear:
• terror

• panic

• username or password is incorrect

• "we need to talk"

• 20 missed calls from mom"

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

1 + 1 = Window.

2 + 2 = Fish.

3 + 3 = Eight.

4 + 4 = Arrow.

7 + 7 = Triangle.

8 + 8 = Butterfly.

Retweet if you get it!""

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

Age 4: "I love Mommy"

Age 16: "I HATE HER"

Age 20: "Mom was right"

Age 57: "I wish my Mom was still here"

Retweet if you love your Mom""

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

D0 you love Music? (:
╔═══╗ ♪
║███║ ♫
║ (●) ♫
╚═══╝♪♪
No: Ignore
Yes: Retweet"""""

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

Texts that piss me off:
1.Yeah
2.Oh
3.Yup
4. Lol
5. Haha
6. K
7. Nope
8. Chillin
9. Naw
10. Send me a pic"""

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

5 Things are very difficult at the end:
1. Friendship
2. Money
3. Love
4. Sunday
5. Internet pack
The last one is the cry.

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

I
HATE
WAKING
UP
EARLY
I
JUST
WANNA
SLEEP
I
DONT
WANNA
GO
TO
SCHOOL
I
JUST
WANT
TO
LAY
IN
MY
BED
AND
SLEEP
FOR
THE
REST
OF
MY
LIFE"""

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

99.9% of my sentences start with:
yeah
no
basically
wait
so yeah
like
you know
oh
um
what
well
but"""

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

Boy|girl
😳 😬
😉 ☺
📱 📲
😏 😄
😘 😍
💏 💑
👫
💘
❤
😌 ☺
😒 😠
😡 😥
😤 💔
🚶 😪
😳 💃
💔 👋
😔 😌
😪 😊

Get it?

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

Hey" ,

"Hey" ,

"How r u" ,

" Good u" ,

"Good",

"What r u doing",

"nothing u" ,

"nothing",

Retweet if you hate these convos.""

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

🔋100% 😃
🔋90% 😆
🔋80% 😁
🔋70% 😏
🔋60% 😅
🔋50% 😬
🔋40% 😐
🔋30% 😥
🔋20% 😧
🔋10 % 😫
🔋1% 😱🔌🏃💨"""

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

everyone: are you okay
everyone: you look tired
everyone: you look upset
everyone: you look confused
everyone: are you sick
me: IT'S MY FACE

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

10 Worst Feelings:
Cheated on.
Over thinking.
Lied to.
Heart broken.
Not cared for.
Losing.
Scared.
Assuming.
Nervous.
Letting go."

[comedy central @onlycomedypack]

My Mom is

• annoying
• dramatic
• irritating
• beautiful
• loving
• caring
• strong
• amazing

RT if you love your mom.""""