OnLYiMA

Every once in a while, I will sing for you.

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

No, you cannot make the excuse that you “don’t know technology” when you’re emailing me from your smartphone. 🤦‍♀️

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

You know a someone is going to be a complete nightmare to work with when they call to complain about something they have full control over and can handle themselves. Get over yourself, dude. 🤡

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

Who else immediately discredits someone who states they’re just like the average everyday Joe, then states he lives in a gated community with security and says his wife orders from Amazon everyday? 🤦‍♀️

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

In today’s episode of stupid things my co-worker does:

His definition of “ASAP” is “whenever you can get it done.” So it’s got our whole office of four confused asf. 🤦‍♀️

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

One of the worst kinds of people to be in management or leadership positions are those who cannot admit to any mistakes, always has to be right, and can’t apologize for their minutes (let alone biggest) human-error. And guess whom I’m working for?

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

Interesting when a program that my insecure toxic boss claims doesn't work for her so she gives it to me to do, magically works when she has to prove a point.

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

Have my camera, have my tripod, my intervalometer, an almost empty SD card, and a solar filter. All this doesn’t matter, because I forgot the camera battery that I was charging last night 🤦‍♀️

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

Stupid things my co-worker does:

Has phone to all extensions, and emails to everyone in the office. Walks to each and every person with hand written or verbal messages.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

Id10t: Why am I being charged so much for shipping?
Me: You are located in a residential area, so it’s higher.
Id10t: THIS IS MY BUSINESS ADDRESS! I live here too but there are other businesses on this street.
Me: So, you’re doing business out of your HOME?
Id10t: … yes.

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

In my workplace, “Thanks for clarifying” really means: thanks for answering my question that you failed to answer six questions ago.

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

Another stupid thing my coworker says:

He tried to convince me that a local pizza chain, that are all individually owned & operated by a family member of the founder (they're not) is the same as In-N-Out because a member of the founder's family is the president of the company.

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

My cheap as hell boss who drives a Porsche, is having our accounting person who has no experience with anything, looking into her car troubles. It’s pathetically embarassing and entertaining at the same time.

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

My brother just called our electric kettle, “the water boiling machine,” and now that’s the only name it’ll be known as.

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

My boss is having me help her with an accounting project. I work in shipping. The AP/AR person isn’t helping, because she doesn’t have any confidence in his skills. SHE DOESN’T HAVE ACCOUNTING CONFIDENCE IN THE ACCOUNTING PERSON!

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

A little irritated: emailed/phoned this ultra white girl complaining that no one pronounces her name right cuz people forget the accented-E at the end, & here I am, with a last name that begins with an X that people never even comes close to saying right, not amused by her.

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

Why is it whenever I forget to bring my lunch to work, I’m always ravenously hungry than when I don’t? 🤷‍♀️

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

I don’t know enough of you to not hate you, but I know enough to not like you.

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

One of the hardest hitting things I’ve heard recently: trauma and tradition has been used interchangeably by the past generations.

Cesar, your daughter is very lucky to have you as a father.

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

Back in school, I helped the health teacher by typing about eating disorders she’d pass out when she teaches the subject. I typed the full name: Anorexia Nervosa. She asked “what’s that?” and when I explained, she gave me a funny look and said “it’s just called Anorexia.” 🤷‍♀️

[OnLYiMA @onlyima]

Watching the #SuperMarioBrosMovie I recalled a time as kids my big bro played 1st player and my lil bro 2nd on the game. Big bro beat the entire game in one sitting and when it was over and we heard the first level music, lil bro didn’t want to play anymore.