Only Minions

Dear Bio, Please don't ask me to explain about myself. Sincerely, None of your business.

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Make Him Interested - https://t.co/tVexqV4PiW

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im not "cute" awkward

im "what the hell is wrong with u" awkward

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Don't ask for my opinion then get mad when I tell you the truth.

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How to Get Him Back - https://t.co/A37Oci4Lhx

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Manchester United Wags - https://t.co/C8lulwgzNo

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Have you ever just cried because you're you?

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I say "haha" almost after every text so it doesn't sound too serious.

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age 11: worry about internet people finding me in real life

now: worry about people in real life finding me on the internet

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I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.

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Guy texting a girl: "I love you" (erases his text) "I miss you" (erases his text) "Hi" (message sent)

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That heart attack you get when your parents are using your phone and you start hoping they don't look through your text messages.

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when i clean my room:

1% cleaning
28% complaining
71% playing with stuff i just found

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Me at Victoria's Secret:
"LOOK it sparkles!"
"Too expensive"
"But its on SALE"
"Omg smell this"
"I love this color"
"Can I buy everything?"

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when your crush texts you cute things like “who is this” and “how did you get this number”

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I either finish a book within 8-12 consecutive hours or roughly 8 months.
there's no in between.

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I'm not stealing my neighbor's WiFi, their WiFi is trespassing into my house.

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I don't care how old you are. When the ketchup bottle farts, it's funny.

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There's a story behind every person. There's a reason why they're the way they are. Think about that before you judge someone.

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Boss: Why aren't you working??? Employee: I didn't see you coming!!!

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"dont be shy"

thanks you cured me

where did it all go

omg