optimusprime

fuckthedecepticons

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

Best dip chip and it’s not close

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

Just ate multi vitamin gummies for a sweet treat

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

YBG DON

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

I’d be top 3 in the WNBA easily

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

@JamesBeirceJr They don’t teach that

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

So like, if if you’re the pilot and your plane crashes, you get fired right

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

Will I ever play a solid game of dodgeball again?

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

COMMERCIALVERSE

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

Actually fucking hate fat people

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

Funeral open bar, this is how I want to be remembered

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

These are the best Chickfila fries

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

Atlanta airport at 2:45am, everyone looks surprisingly chill

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

2025 I’m farting EVERYWHERE. IDGAF!!!!

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

If you like crushed ice (from a fridge) grow up.

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

Some medieval guy probably did something really cool during a war and we’ll never know

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

@fartd0ctor I’ve made countless smoothies. But not a single has ever been as good as a store bought smoothie or same texture

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

@MichaelToro340 Never rank again, thanks

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

Shoutout to all the lost souls of brothers, husbands and boyfriends who entered Urban outfitters and never left. Currently been here for a full hour.

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

Huge fuck you to people who yell out movie lines right before they hit or during. We get it you’ve seen Christmas Vacation.

[optimusprime @OptimusPrinne]

Always anticipate like 100 foot wide sinkhole whenever this pops up