Orange Toad

Anthropomorphized genitalia of the FORMER President of the United States and the only part of his body that knows what Anthropomorphized means

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@MIDNIGHT0521 @jeremynewberger I don’t want to blow your expectations, but to be fair none of the other press secretaries had a lot of face time with me. They were too busy doing some of the heavy lifting in the administration, like fetching sodas and setting the tv to record night court

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@lackerddos @KellyScaletta The likeness is uncanny!

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@RandPaul I just wish he was this vocal of a fighter when it comes to family planning and women’s rights

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@iamjohnoliver “This [gas station] won’t kill babies.” - the representative of this neighborhood fighting against a gas station https://t.co/VDCmjGVziv

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@LastWeekTonight @iamjohnoliver Hey I know you probably love watching videos about zoning committee meetings and neighborhoods fighting against a gas station, so here you go! (This one is has their representative telling them it’s ok, if won’t kill babies) https://t.co/VDCmjGVziv

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

A little louder for those of you in the back

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@lannadelnegro @sarahcpr I do. BUY YOUR PLANET TODAY! LOWEST PRICES IN THE QUADRANT! NO CREDIT IS PERFECT CREDIT! ALL SIZES/COLORS/ENVIRONMENTS AVAILABLE

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@DiGiorno It’s not delivery. No one came up the driveway. No one rang the bell. The oven is still warm. Please, you know it’s not delivery. Come back to us. It’s not delivery. It’s DiGiorno.

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@james_jsamuelsr @elites_the @davidaxelrod K

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@StormyDaniels No one is surprised that you were the loudest. Thank you for trying

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@jeffpearlman @MonicaLewinsky I really really needed this today. Thank you

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

And with that Ted Cruz has officially fought back harder against a tweet from a late night show than he ever did when Trump called his wife ugly

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

#TuckerMustGo #TuckerSucks

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

Hey @iamjohnoliver @LastWeekTonight why don’t you open up your own #HedgeFund for low income investors and use that untapped power to manipulate...I mean strategically invest in the markets?

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

Seriously thought my screen resolution was broken while watching #ImpeachmentTrial2 abs saw an old clip of @JerryNadler great job losing weight!

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

#EugeneGoodman > Chuck Norris. I’d ask for discussion but honestly it’s not even close

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@52a6cdc5f6644e7 @NPR Do you really want a bottle of SyurpMcSyurpface? Because that’s how you get a bottle of SyurpMcSyurpface.

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@donk_enby Hot. DAMN.

[Orange Toad @orange_toad]

@KasTooShort @plexie9 @POTUS Dude is literally posting from @POTUS