M L E

I'm awkward...and sarcastic

[M L E @orangebandage]

My favourite author, my favourite quote and my favourite tweet

[Kurt Vonnegut @Kurt_Vonnegut]

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

[M L E @orangebandage]

@ThatKevinSmith This film was my gateway drug to Kevin Smith films.

[M L E @orangebandage]

@Fearless_Fred I know someone, no they are not together

[M L E @orangebandage]

@andiporter Just say you have writers block. Then they feel bad for asking.

[M L E @orangebandage]

@TheBloggess My dog Ripley brings me joy. Some days I can’t get out of bed, but she makes me because she has to pee

[M L E @orangebandage]

@santoselhellper Ugh 😑

[M L E @orangebandage]

@santoselhellper I had to ban myself from doing that.

[M L E @orangebandage]

@santoselhellper I am thankful you weren’t hit. 💜

[M L E @orangebandage]

@hawthornandrewj I just googled this address and your tweet came up. I too can recite that address in my sleep.

[M L E @orangebandage]

Christmas is ruined! Didn’t get the Vacation Vader in the Lego Star Wars advent calendar. I got two Jedi’s! @LEGO_Group #legostarwarsadventcalendar lol what are the odds?

[M L E @orangebandage]

Thanks Biffy Clyro for spending 9,583 minutes with me in 2022. I couldn’t stop listening to A Hunger In Your Haunt. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/F4KupC3LDt

[M L E @orangebandage]

You know what I love? When doctors prescribe birth control they ask if you are a smoker and warn you of blood clots. They never say “oh you’ll have debilitating migraines and ibs and possibly crohns”.

[Kurt Vonnegut @Kurt_Vonnegut]

Comedians and jazz musicians are more comforting to me than preachers or politicians or philosophers or poets or painters or novelists.

[M L E @orangebandage]

@4AMC4RETAIL @billburr Hahaha I thought the exact same thing. Looks like he wants to tell a joke for “$1 Million dollars”

[M L E @orangebandage]

@pattonoswalt @netflix @HelloBleached @NetflixIsAJoke It’s a stellar special. The crowd work was *chefs kiss*.

[M L E @orangebandage]

@kayleycheung @TSpencerNairn What really? That is NEXT level. Maybe because you could still record the set? But who cares that much?

[M L E @orangebandage]

@TSpencerNairn This is a common practice now. I went to a Dave Chapelle show at the Danforth Music Hall in 2016 and they locked up our phones in pouches. I would highly recommend a smart watch. Msgs and calls show up on the watch and you can respond/pick up. Bypass the “bag”

[M L E @orangebandage]

@santoselhellper Oh poor baby. You tired of actors no longer wanting to work with you? 🤭

[M L E @orangebandage]

@evanjstern @OriginalFunko @GameStop They spelt Strt wrong

[M L E @orangebandage]

@fahimanwar Literally did that this morning when I saw I was billed for another year of the Calm app…eh, another year of Calm

[M L E @orangebandage]

Next level service on @WestJet flight to Vancouver where they switched my seat because there wouldn’t be enough oxygen masks for my dog in the row I was assigned. #thelittlethings