Oscar Mûgendi.

The mind that is still, The universe surrenders.
E-TOWN finest.
Manchester United Fanatic. 🔴

[Kipkalya Kones @MrKipkalya]

Sifuna: We will run a country governed by the rule of law.

Ruto: Huna akili. Which country is run like that?

Sifuna: A 12-floor block makes no sense in a village set up where lifestyles are rural and chickens and other domestic animals dwell side by side with people. Besides, these houses have no social amenities.

Ruto: Wewe ni fala baanaa!

Sifuna: We will scrap the Housing Levy, seal wastage in government, block State House from consuming billions in mandazi and draw a balanced budget within 15 months, so that we return money to the pockets of ordinary citizens.

Ruto: Mr Empty! Mr Shiny things! Mr 40!

Sifuna: I swear to you that I will never send the police to kill your children! If you build beautiful roads and magnificent stadia, how do they benefit Rex Masai and Albert Ojwang, whom you have murdered in cold blood? We must build these shiny things in a just, free and democratic atmosphere where all countrymen can enjoy them ALIVE.

Ruto: Wewe Mr Extortionist! Governors wanakulilia!

Sifuna: OK, so can these alleged Governors now come forward and make the accusations themselves?

Ruto: Abujubujubuju!

Sifuna: The success of SHA can not be measured by the number of people registered on it, but by the quality of services it offers and availability of these services to the most vulnerable.

Ruto: Umetumwa na sponsor! Uko down! Uko down banaa!

Sifuna: If you are distributing employment letters to your friends at State House, the rest of the country that you have marginalised has a legitimate responsibility to send you home and install a government that will accord EQUITABLE opportunities to all and reset the nation away from your kleptocracy.

Ruto: This can't be you speaking! It must be Uhuru Kenyatta!

Previously on this show, Ruto had incessantly said "Sifuna hana agenda". But as we can see, Sifuna actually drops snippets of his governance agenda and policy positions daily, while Ruto rants angrily, shouts on the microphone and sounds like a broken 1982 Sanyo Cassette player.

Ruto ako down kama mchanga ya kaburi.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Kuna kamrembo pale instagram kanaitwa Diana luvanda,buana I have never seen anything like that. Mtoto chweda chweda! Her smile,her protruded canines eih! Kiuno iko tu hapo,huku nyuma imeshikilia mzigo ingine kubwa namna atari sana size ya kifaru. This is the type of woman you steal your clients money to make her smile,unampeleka india,next week mko jamaica,mteremke Mpaka south Africa kuona dolphins,pesa ikiisha katikati ya safari unagonga client mwingine,just so that you can have premium sex for atleast five more days.

Na wacha nikuambie kitu ndugu yangu,no woman gives you premium sex like the one who knows shes there for the money,hawa wanakufanyianga mambo aijaionekana. Mpaka hii ingine inaitwa the underdog style,hii mnatoanga mattress kwa kitanda,yeye analala juu ya mbao,wewe unaingia chini unakamata izo mbao,sasa unatwanga tu yeye apo ukifanya inverted press ups. Sijui kama unaona iyo picha My friend! Alafu pesa ikiisha mnarudi Nairobi upambane na hali yako because The experience was entirely worth it,lakini ndio watu wasijue wewe ni mtu bladifakin,unawekelea saitan mzigo yote. Unawaambia hujui nini ilikuingia,kumbe ni gìthinyaku buana. Yaye Diana I don’t deserve you!

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Mimi ata siku nitakafunga sidhani nitakaa chini mahali kuelezea watu how to get rich. Its totally pointless. There is a 99% chance that whatever worked for my father,will not work for me,and what worked for me will not work for you. The gap in circumstantial difference is so wide.

Hii kitu ainanga formula buana,and majority of us underlook the role played by luck in our lives. For example looking at kenyattas family,do you know that initially Jomo kenyatta was not supposed to mary Mama ngina,he was to marry her big sister. Ni vile alienda akapata hayuko,mama ngina ndiye alikua,Mama ngina akavuruta kamisi chini,akamseduce akamwambia Joseph nibebe tu wachana na my sister,huyo ata amechapa. And thats how Uhunye came to be born

Sasa imagine unaita mama ngina umuambie akufunze vile alifanya akapata pesa. A woman who was meant to be a village girl married to a grasshoper hunter in murang’a? You will fail terribly. We must look for what works for us. Kama mimi sahii nawauzia CCTV cameras,kuna jamaa ingine ilianza hii kazi ati juu iliona nikama iko na pesa, lemme tell you maina,jamaa amefunga duka after 5 months. Na ndio ata wahenga walisema ukiskia kuku akisema Ruto must go,basi kuku ameibiwa mayai!

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Shame on you @WilliamsRuto . Serious countries like Burkina faso are buying tractors for farmers to do large scale farming while you and your class 2 advisor @HonOscarSudi sudi are buying Boda bodas and sausage wheelbarrows for youths in the name of empowerment? Kumbafu kabisa!!

[WHAM @WhamSteppa]

i'll respect you more if you tell me what it really is instead of lying to me

[Nandi 🤍💜🤍 @pallnandi]

A man can be emotionally shattered, mentally exhausted, financially ruined, and spiritually drained, but if he’s still showing up, no one notices. Society doesn’t check his mental health, only his performance. Utility over humanity. Every time

[𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨️ @_Pammy_DS_]

Manipulation is when someone blames you for your reaction to their toxic behaviour but doesn’t discuss their disrespect that triggered you.

[Adam | Faithful Messenger @Adam_FaithfulM]

Life has no meaning without Jesus.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Kuna miaka ukifika hufai kuwa unavuruta bangi,unawachia watoto. You either quit or graduate to cigarettes

[ᜰ.Sol @societyhatesjay]

since moviebox is down, if you have a substitute site, pls share with us

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Na vijana mjue hii msemo ya follow your passion haikuangi ya watu hivi hivi,this one is for people who are not seriously looking for money,wale mababu zao hawakununua piki piki wengine wakinunua mashamba. Ukijaribu kufuata passion bila pesa utaona cha mtema kuni aisee,pale mwaka wa 2015 mimi niliwacha mjengo nikasema nikuconcetrate nijaribu usanii,angalau nitoe hitsong ata kama ni moja kama macho ya daddy owen ata nitoke kangemi jameni.

Studio kwanza nikawekelea savings zote,6500kes. My first track was Called ‘single in my single ,dedicated to my half Indian girlfriend Vashni whos father decided to deport her to Nepal for further studies because he found out she was falling in love with a peasant,wakaniwekelea namvurutisha bangi,which isnt the case because she asked for it i didn’t force her.

I produced 60 CD copies. Aki sidhani ata tractor za mchina huwa zinatarmac namna hiyo,I only sold 6 copies,in a whole month,na mbili niliuzia jamaa ingine nilisaidia kukwamua gari kwa mtaro,sasa ikafika mahali nikalala njaa siku ya kwanza,savings nimemaliza sasa tegemeo langu ni CD,siku ya pili nimekunywa tu maji,weh! Siku ya tatu niliamkia kwa hardware ya mchinese kushukisha simiti kwa lorry. Passion nilirusha chini ya kitanda,hizo maCD nilikua natumia kupepeta jiko. Vijana tuhakikishe tumejishikilia kabla tufuate passion,juu passion bila pesa itageuka ndimu. Fukc william Ruto and his bald daughter!

[Sir-Rap-A-Lot @Osama_otero]

Sisi real alcoholics tuko tu sawa. Hatutawahi kosa pombe. Sijui mbona mnakasirika. Kama wewe si alcoholic acha kujam ya uongo. Grow up.

[Oscar Mûgendi. @oscar_rific]

@UTDMaI not today

[AB⚕ @AbsoluteBruno]

Fuck ego! I'm following every Manchester United fan that likes and RT this tweet. Must be following me too

[Grok @grok]

Certainly! Psalm 34:8 simply means: Try experiencing God's goodness for yourself—it's real and wonderful. True happiness comes from trusting Him as your safe haven in life's storms.

Prayer topics:
1. Thank God for His goodness in your daily blessings.
2. Ask for strength to seek refuge in Him during challenges.
3. Pray for others to "taste and see" His love. Blessings!

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Mungu baba unapo ongezea millicent Omanga kilo,kumbuka pia the unemployed,wako katika hali ya atari.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Bookten mlimwambia alizaliwa na nyanya yake ikakua funny lakini ikikuja kwa ladies mnakua emotional eh! Dj chesa mbagala by diamond platinumz na usiweke chiki chiki

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

In my books of beauty,there are three types of beauty. Kuna warembo wanakuanga warembo at first sight,yani mtoto chepu chepu,you dont need to look at her twice. But when she becomes yours,her beauty evaporates. Anarudi kukaa normal,alafu mkiwachana she starts glowing again. Ni kitu saitanic buana

Alafu kuna hii sampuli ingine,at first when you look at her,she barely makes it to 5 in your scale. But with time,mkizoeana unaanza kuona eih! This one is beautiful,but in her own way. Her beauty appears through interactions and character you have with her. And i tell you brothers,this is the one to marry. They will never teach you this in unifasti

Alafu kuna sasa hii ingine tunaita ong’ong’o. These ones are not physically attractive,ni wale ukitaka wakuje kwa mansion huwezi waendea kwa gate msionekane nayeye mkipanda stairs. Weh! Apana chesa,but now their hearts are very pure. Ni wale tunasema she’s beautiful inside. Hawa stocks zao hupanda wakati ya baridi,Na ni wale pia my professor PLo lumumba alisema when theres too much cold,even a no go zone becomes a Ngo no zone. Angalia jirani mwambie maraga statehouse!

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Walimu wameongezwa salary ya 300kes each,then Mps wamejiongeza ya 300k allowance, each. My friend!!

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Parliamentarians passed bills to regulate rice growing in kenya,then went ahead and imported 500,000Tonnes of tax free rice the other day. Nchi ya kisenge sana hii,who can print a shirt for me written ‘Waambie wapunguze tamaa pia sisi tudishi’