viktor shedtwt

edtwt shtwt / i am scared / vent / 23yrs / -80lbs

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

my favs

(beans/blood/styro)

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

in a pub with my partner and our friend watching the game rn and all i can do is look at the other people thinner than me and then i look down and see the fucking shelf full of fat being pushed up by my binder doing nothing.

[tradenip @rossisongo]

High af. As a touch deprived child it took me so long to realize my dog just wants me to pet him for no reason sometimes. I’m like you are fed, housed, and appear to be fully functioning. Why r u in my face. I had not accounted for the rest of love. Love to me was only surviving.

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

even with a binder i have a fucking shelf on my chest i feel suffocated

[𝒌𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒍𝒚𝒏 ྀིྀི @kaitith]

all of you need to watch this is lowkey made me emotional but it’s so correct and explains how having an ed feels

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

my partner is helping me with binging by asking me whenever i go to eat “are you actually hungry” bc i binge too fucking much and need someone to actually remind me i’m not hungry
i love them

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

i fucking gained

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

not actually in the friend group just the bf of 2 years okay

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

texted my friend who literally lives downstairs from me twice today asking about info/something i could grab from him and nothing
thinking of the worst imagining if my partner was here he prob would answer we would prob all be out tonight if my partner were here

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

don’t even have any energy for anything whatthefuckfkk

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

i thought i was gonna get so much done today unpacking wise but i’ve literally just been in bed help

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

@Poo_Crave why are you a fucking disgusting human hiding being behind a screen

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

if my partner leaves in the morning,,, technically,,,, i could cut now,,,,,,

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

i also saw some mf in front of me today while i was at a show who i couldn’t stop staring at bc he was genuinely my EXACT goal like whatthrfuckkgidjfk

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

i haven’t cut in forever but my partner leaves for the night tomorrow and i feel so fucking bad but i’m here like

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

can literally see my double fucking neck reflection while i type this i’ve gotten so disgusting

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

literally don’t know the last time i didn’t binge every fucking day i’m even thinking about getting cup noodle rn after my fries

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

i’m gonna start ripping my skin off GIVE ME A FULL TIME JOB PLEASE I CANT GO BACK TO RETAIL I CANT I WILL NOT SURVIVE

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

i’ve been eating sooooo little since living with my partner BUT I STILL GAINED.

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

haven’t even been at my parents for two hours and i’m aching to open the wawa app

[viktor shedtwt @ottervamp]

my partner also uses kai razors like for facial hair and regular things to use them as and i had to have a legit convo with them asking them if they know thank god they didn’t but jfc opening the bathroom cupboard and seeing the handle there JUMPSCARE