The Cynical Employee

This is a true story of real employees working at a consulting firm.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

who keeps stealing my scissors and stapler? i put my name on it with a permanant marker. will check every office. pissed!

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

we have a new chick in the office. she's too serious for our tshirt and jean atmosphere. she walked out in the middle of our conversation.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

smells like onion rings in the office today. funny, noone is eating any.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

there is only 3 of us and he's trying to act studly. it's just 7-11 and me. we're ignoring him.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

guido is sitting in the lounge watching sports on the plasma tv. since the partners and most of the staff is out, he thinks he's in charge.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

guido walks around the office with his wireless earpiece talking really loud like he's something special.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

love Jessica the hippo on Youtube. will send it to my friends. gives me the warm and fuzzies...

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

why do vendors think that they can ignore paying their invoices?

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

woah! the coffee is strong the hair on my arms are sticking up. man, smigle think i made it and keeps commenting how strong it is.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

gross! the kitty had fleas and i kissed it earlier. i think this is how the swine flu got started. we're out of antibacterial stuff.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

we now have 20 photos of the kitten sleeping. it's been a productive day.....i could use a cat nap.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

officebabe happened to see the kitten's poop and nearly puked...turns out the stray kitten was brought in for one of the partners.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

chatty cathy in our office said that calicos talk alot! i think she was one in her past life.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

the kitten pooped in a box which had the new computer in it. it was in Guido's office. i'm already starting to like the cat alot!!

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

walked into the office kitchen for a cup of terrible coffee and there's a screaming kitten.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

Who took the last cup of coffee and not make a new pot?! Oops, I did and just announced it to the whole office.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

@jepkindalikawow at least you don't fan it with a file folder....we have a guy who does it here in our office.

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

Smigle is referencing his English, did they even teach English that long ago?

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

Friday! Time to get crazy...like that Sonic commercial let's get some eggs and boil them!!!!

[The Cynical Employee @outofpaper]

from where i am sitting chatty looks naked she's wearing a halter top...very appropriate for any office...yuck!