Sam Theismann

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

So I'm doing this whole Lakeland Lent thing... Does anyone else feel weird resorting to reading Luke on the toilet? #startstop #givereceive

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

That moment you wake up because you hear something and swear you're going to fine the goblin king escaping through your son's window #Bowie

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

Does anyone have a physical copy of the master chief collection for Xbox one I could borrow?

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

I am best at social media

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

Darth Malak!

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

Darth Malak?

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

So are we allowed to finally acknowledge Sam Smith's overpowering lisp? @derrickriley @juliet35 #Bublé #MerryCrithmith

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

Going to watch Guardians of the Galaxy tonight, come on over

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

Fact: I have no idea what the 5th pizza roll tastes like #MagmaInside

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

Two ways to read this. I prefer the one that questions manhood.

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

What does this mean? #jonstewart #pleasehelp

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

I agree????

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

Almost forgot to include my salad

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

I'm not saying I'm paleo, I'm just saying this is the healthiest thing you'll see all day #whatmeansdiet

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

@DrockStowe app that plugs into your car and gives the readout for the error it has then tells you where you can get it fixed

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

What do you mean that's not the point?

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

Pro tip: hey NFL cheerleaders, if you put your hair up in a pony tail, or maybe even a braid it doesn't get in your face #yourewelcome

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

Preschoolers are dumb #learntospell #code #snaps

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

Preschool code use master level: using SNAPS to communicate without @notLOSTsawyer knowing #snaps #code #parentsoftheyear

[Sam Theismann @outsidesam]

@jorjugan @HyVee I heard pottery barn already has their Christmas decorations out