Kimani_K

Patriot, free thinker, UDA youth representative.

[Okwaro 🇸🇸 🇰🇪 @Okwaro_]

There is an Argentinian 5 a side football team that calls itself Kenya. They wear our national colours down to the very crest. It's lovely to see.

[Book Ten @Bookten8]

The person you’ve tagged is not Alicia Kanini.

Her correct handle is @SexxydaisyOf

[Shakira Wanjira Naliaka Wafula @fit_ermined]

I was born a girl. Into a world that works tirelessly to reduce my human experience into a neat little box, defined only by its own narrow terms. A world where my safety isn’t prioritized, and when I dare to speak up, I’m reminded of that box I’m supposed to quietly and submissively retreat into. Staying quiet has always been the easy way out. No one questions your experience then, no one blames you for the anger and courage it took to speak out, no one points at your physical attributes to determine if you were ‘worth’ attracting unwarranted sexual advances.
🧵

[✊🏿 @mutwiriiii]

By the end of this video you will know how to test pure honey

[Kimani_K @owl_lier]

Body built. Like low budget pst Nganga

[Onyango_tate @Wuodnyakach_]

Chilling

[vicky @vickyvaler]

Hell yes sign me up I'd love this

[MRR ADDY  @vibewithmraddy]

Nothing can make me delete this video🤣🤣

[Ebere @EbereEze10]

I swear imma make It and when I do, they're gunna show this tweet lol

[England @England]

Come Together.

[Kimani_K @owl_lier]

F4 ni opiyo alikua camera man

[William Samoei Ruto, PhD @WilliamsRuto]

We are fully aware of the frustration, pain and burden that families, businesses, farmers and transporters have endured due to rising fuel prices over the past few weeks.

The truth is this: Kenya is facing the effects of a global fuel crisis caused by the ongoing conflict in the Middle East. This challenge is not unique to Kenya. Across the world, countries are grappling with rising fuel prices, supply shortages and disruptions in the global supply chain.

Since the beginning of this crisis, we have responded decisively to cushion Kenyans from high fuel prices and to ensure the country continues to enjoy a stable and uninterrupted fuel supply under the Government-to-Government framework.

In the April-May and May-June pricing cycles, the Government has spent KSh28.19 billion on fuel price support through direct stabilisation measures and Value Added Tax (VAT) relief of 8 per cent, protecting millions of Kenyans from even greater hardship.

Without Government intervention during this period, Super Petrol would retail at KSh230 a litre instead of the current KSh214. Diesel would retail at KSh277 instead of KSh232, while kerosene would retail at KSh270 instead of KSh191.

To further cushion Kenyans, I have directed a KSh10 reduction for diesel in the June-July pricing cycle.

We call on Kenyans to remain patient as we navigate this crisis. Let us not allow irresponsible political opportunists to politicise a crisis that is global in nature. Together, we shall overcome these challenges.

Held talks with transport stakeholders at State House Mombasa and agreed on a series of reforms to address concerns in the transport sector, including the possibility of a temporary relief on lending terms for the transport sector, insurance claims and regulations on minimum fares for digital taxis, as well as allowing the continued use of artwork and graffiti on matatus.

[Jurrien Timber @JurrienTimber]

How good is god man

[Mandla @mindloz08]

This scene was purely unhinged! 😭 just when you think things can’t get any more awkward... they bring in the dog. 😂

[Felix @hobidyhobs]

Beating Burnley and then sitting down for City v Bournemouth knowing a draw crowns us champions. Now that is going to be something.

Embrace the pressure. Privilege to be here. Many teams will kill for this. We've worked hard. Six years.

[Favourite | Al & Automation @favoritetechgal]

Its Mercor ai
You can get gigs as high as 200$ per hour.
https://t.co/L1fGbOBY4x

[Abdelrahman AboShark @aboshark4]

الواحد بقاله يومين ع الوضع دا

[The Chapati Mistress 🇰🇪 @chapatimistress]

Lemme plug you all to this lady ako Easleigh, they'll even asd you to their whatsapp group if you intend to sell in wholesale 0799 584685

[Kones. @BCherich]

Rubis Energy Kenya is inviting applications for the 2026 Graduate Trainee Program, an opportunity designed to develop young talent into well-rounded professionals within the energy sector.

Details below

[CPA Wachira Joseph @WashiraX]

Eastleigh is not laughing with KRA.

Over the weekend, I visited my woria friend in Eastleigh. He owed me camel meat.
He told me: Okuyu, kuja nikupeleke bahali yake.

He took me to a camel meat joint. He told me to order.

I asked the waiter: mko na nini?

He said: rafiki iko ngamia tatu. Ngamia imekaangwa, ngamia blain, na ngami... Before he finished, I asked: Hiyo blain iko na nini?

He said: Imechemshwa na chumvi.

I told him, niletee ngamia choma.

Suddenly, every head turned to our table.

My woria friend quickly took charge. Ordered 3 plates. 2 Blain and 1 imekaangwa.

I have no clue how those chefs do it. But it was the sweetest and softest meat I have eaten this year.
My friend, if you have never eaten camel in isirii, I don't even know why I am talking to you.

• Lesson 1: Those chefs should be arrested. Unaweza malizia school fees ya watoto hapo.

As we stood to leave, I see the one and only Eastleigh mall. Immediately I remember what they did to KRA.

When the mall was constructed. It cost 96 million.

They also said the name Eastleigh mall is a brand. They gave it a brand value of 10% of the building cost. And called it goodwill. A whopping 9 million shillings.

Total cost = 104 million.

That is what they reported to KRA in their 2008 tax return.

They then divided this cost over 13 years. The period to fully deduct building costs from tax. 8M per year. All legal.

From 2008 to 2017, Eastleigh mall and KRA are good buddies. They even say cheers while taking coffee together.

Then one morning in 2017, KRA arrives at Times Tower and finds a letter from Eastleigh Mall.

It reads:

• Hello KRA. You see that 104M we told you. We made a mistake. It's actually 200 million. We now have a fresh valuation report. We want to amend our returns from 2008. Tutoe 104 Million bahali yake tuweke 200 Million.

KRA officer thought his spectacles had been hacked. He removed them. Saw the same numbers live.

KRA asked, what do you mean?

They responded: The amendment will help us deduct higher depreciation and lower our taxes.

KRA rejected it instantly.

It didn't end there.

KRA immediately smelled a tax evasion scheme.

They deployed spies to investigate Eastleigh mall. The spies seized their most critical documents. The most important being management accounts.

The spies returned with a very disturbing report. There were huge understatements between the actual income and what had been declared.

Angrily, KRA slapped the mall with a tax demand of 386M.

The mall protested. They wrote an objection letter to KRA showing they had paid all taxes and that management accounts were just internal projections. They sat and waited for a reply.

Clock started ticking.

At times tower, KRA is sipping chai undecided whether to accept or reject the objection.

As KRA is doing this, KRA is unaware of 1 dangerous sentence chilling quietly in the Kenyan tax laws.

It reads.

- As surely as the sun shall rise tomorrow. Any objection decision issued by KRA after 60 days shall be invalid.

But the Eastleigh accountant knew that sentence very well.

He put 60 beans in his wallet. Every morning, he removed and dropped one bean in his office tin.

Day 61 reached. His wallet is empty. KRA has not responded.

He rushed to the director. Bossi, KRA has not responded. We owe them nothing. Tumeshinda. Call the party.

Many months later, KRA sends their reply.

- Hello mall. We hope this email finds you well. We have not forgotten you. We reject your protest letter. You must pay us 400M.

The mall ran to court.

- They argued that KRA’s failure to respond within 60 days meant the objection was allowed and no tax was due.

• The tax appeal Tribunal said noo. The 60 days is just a mere technicality. Bring us more documents for review. The mall refused to supply more records.

The Tribunal sided with KRA and ordered the mall to pay KRA 386m.

KRA retreated to Times Towers telling the mall na tuliwawon.

The mall ran to the high court.

They argued again, no response within 60 days means no tax.

The good judge asked KRA: Is it true that you responded out of time.

KRA nodded like this.

The judge removed his spectacles.
Paused.

Then sided with the mall.

The mall was ordered to pay zero.

KRA was ordered to pay the mall legal fees.

Case closed.

Lesson 2.

• If KRA does not respond to your objection letter within 60 days, call the party. You have won.

• If KRA pushes, run to court and ask for legal costs. Courts will not hesitate.

[Rahul @sairahul1]

MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST WATCH

[Rèed @Ian_San254]

Kama unastruggle na bedbugs or cockroaches enda kwa Agrovet ununue dawa inaitwa "NEOCIDOL 600EW" ni around 150 bob. Very effective. Tried and tested.