The Owl Of Knowledge

Owls can pass exams without revising. Owls can operate complicated devices without reading the manual. Owls know more than wikipedia. Owls am clever ay they.

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

My piss smells like a Sunday roast

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

What the fuck I've cum on my own back

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

I love stretching my arse out

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

My arse won't stop bleeding

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

Hello, is anyone still there?

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

There's already someone having a shit in one of the cubicles and it stinks. I'm not sitting next door to that no way, I'm going to use the big toilet. It's not just a disabled one it's a gender neutral toilet actually and I work here so I'm allowed to use it.

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

Tell you what, where are all these people that are going on long walks and a roast on a Sunday? I wouldn't know, I won't have seen them as I'm too busy locked in my room with a belt round my neck bullying my cock

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

Typical Sunday: long walk and a roast followed by Formula 1, which is slang for me wanking really fast

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

Typical Sunday, long walk and a roast, followed by getting dicked 🍆 up against the fruit machine in Sky Vegas shisha lounge

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

Tell you what, if this had caught me on the toilet, they'd turn the fucking thing off and never look at it again

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

Oh Christmas tree, it's time to topple you over and rip the fruit from your branches, pull you apart like meat and stuff you in a box and up into the darkness for another year

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

I'm having a shit in wetherspoons and I've just had to seriously clean up before I could sit down cus there was piss EVERYWHERE. Now someone's just tried the door and I can see his feet lurking around outside FUCK OFF MATE I'VE WORKED HARD FOR THIS AND NOW YOURE PUTTING ME OFF

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

Tell you what, everyone on these dating apps looks so fucking boring, I'm glad none of them will match with me

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

Been hanging round the graveyard all night hoping to pull one of them goth girls, but there's just crackheads here

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

@GamewithDave Call of duty black ops 7

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

Cook naked

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

@kuntandthegang you've got the wrong Ian Watkins mate

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

If you talk to an arsehole, the conversation will usually be about shit

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

What the fuck there was a video of me wanking then my feed refreshed and it's gone, I know what I saw, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON ANSWER ME

[The Owl Of Knowledge @owlofknowledge2]

Every app I open there's just people talking shit everywhere, fuck off you all