The romanticization of downies is very weird to me.
“Oh they’re so happy!” Yeah because they have an IQ of 34.
People see little clips of the higher-functioning minority being cute online and then feel entitled to massively underestimate the amount of mental, social, financial, and medical resources it takes to raise them.
This isn’t helped by the fact that the parents of profoundly disabled kids often try and offset the (very valid) guilt, disappointment, and burnout they feel by frantically pretending like their lives are great because farming praise for being “good people” and righteously dunking on parents who don’t want that for themselves are the only coping mechanisms they have.
A profoundly disabled child is not a houseplant or kitten, and it isn’t a responsibility that ever ends. The vast majority of downies are not capable of obtaining even a mild degree of independence.
You will be taking care of them until the day you die (and spend the last moments of your life worrying about who will take care of them when you’re gone).
Imagine being 80 years old and still having to heat up nuggets for your 45 year old child, remind them to wash, tell them when to go to bed, etc…
Imagine not being able to do literally anything without having to consider whether or not your downie labubu can join.
Imagine never having grandchildren, or never being able to see your child go to college or get married. Fundamental experiences many look forward to, gone.
It’s not like the cute little clips in the vast majority of cases.
And this is all especially true if you have a male downie because once they hit puberty and adulthood, you now have all of the urges of a horny man trapped in the mind and body of someone with a no impulse control and superhuman retard strength.
It’s all fun and games until your 300 pound adult son who has the intellectual capacity of a turnip whips his junk out in a Walmart and starts rubbing it on the My Little Pony display (I witnessed this once, absolutely horrifying scenes).
All I’m saying is… If you want to be a downie parent - awesome. I wish you the best. I am sure there are plenty of profoundly disabled kids waiting to be adopted and you can put your money where your mouth is anytime.
But I do not blame anyone who does not want that life for themselves and, crucially, recognizes they would not be good parents in that situation.
At the very least, I respect the fact that they’re being honest, which seems to be something most people can’t do when it comes to the disabled.
fun fact. this cutter is designed for disabled people. a lot of things we use on the daily (eg: ramraj velcro veshtis, magnet knife holders etc) are all invented for disabled ppl. increasing accessibility for disabled ppl makes the world a better place for everybody
i've actually come to realise that regret is a cruel storyteller. It rewrites the past with the wisdom of the present, convinces you that you should have known better when you actually had no way of knowing at all.
sometimes i regret participating in the education campaigns for normies to learn about mental health and neurological disorders because it really got twisted from “people with disabilities are people too and you should understand limitations of disabilities” to “i must have autism because i like all my socks to be pink and if i have autism autism isn’t really a disability/can’t be too bad”
Ok I’ve been this 18yo woman.
Let me break it down for you.
You’re 18 and you cry when someone says something mean about you in the school play.
But he’s an adult, so he tells you to toughen up and quit being emotional.
So you don’t feel safe processing your feelings like a normal teenager.
You’re 18, and you want to hang out in the park with the other teenagers and gossip.
But he’s an adult, so he tells you to grow up and stop being so immature.
So you stop seeing your friends, and your socialisation with your peers becomes harder.
You’re 18, and you’ve never had a big argument with a partner before, so you’re really confused and upset.
But he’s an adult, so he tells you you’re childish, crazy, and he’s disappointed.
So you feel ashamed of acting your age and wonder if there is something wrong with you.
You’re 18, and you’re really worried about your exam results coming out next week.
But he’s an adult, so he tells you that you should look into retaking classes if you are serious, or stop being so dramatic.
So you suffer in silence and learn your partner won’t understand if you need comfort.
Can age gaps work? Yes.
But honey, if you’re a teen and reading this: date another teen.
everyone wants a village, but no one wants to be a villager
> drive your friends to the airport
> go to their party even when you're tired
> stop cancelling last minute
> host at your place
> support the wins & losses
it's worth every ounce of effort
There’s nothing I detest more than gatekeepers.
Here’s the link to help young seekers.
PhD or Postdoc, it’s all here even jobs.
Just filter by research field to your field of choice.
Also filter by your research level (R1 for PhDs, R2 for postdocs…).
https://t.co/R8qvbrZ09H
Jai fait une liste de 237 plats Camerounais répartis en 10 grands groupes.
Et Je suis sûre :
- De n’avoir pas tout cité.
- Qu’en faisant des compositions on peut facilement manger pendant 365(+1) jours au Cameroun, sans se répéter. 🇨🇲❤️
Bref, thread 👇🏾
these are the type of privileges i randomly remember i have and then i burst into tears because we’ve have really come such a long way. forever grateful to all the women who shaped this path for me.
The narrative that feminists inappropriately insert their politics into everything while men mind their business is a lie. Men insert their politics & male agendas into jokes, television, literature, children's books & movies, toys, religion, social norms, stereotypes, cultures, traditions, classrooms, the economy, and the entire system of human living. The only difference is that the male has declared himself the voice of objectivity: to challenge man is to challenge all that is life