Ian A Buyck

stand up comedian, might be somewhat insane, will literally sell you for a martini.

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

Vancouver comedy scene you better be ready for this mental distressed fuckin special im throwing at you!

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

Mental stability- depleting
Alcohol consumption- 100%
My ability to see things how they are and write jokes about them.. - I've never been better on my game.

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

Driving around my drunk sister and all her hot friends and they want dairy queen. So we go there and they all order and then ask me why I'm not getting any. And my sister blurts out hes lactose he'll shit himself... like thanks sis...

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

I'm literally so happy right now. I dont even care what happens for the rest of the week.

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

@Ohh_Hali Well I don't take me at wilderness chique or let me return to my raccoons

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

Question one. And this ones very important.. why are you still here?
Question 2 are those my fuckin pop tarts ?

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

@Ohh_Hali No. This baby stays full tilt full time

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

Girl when you were screamin fuck everyone who doesn't like me I didn't think you meant literally

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

I really just wanna have sex with a chick without having to punch her in the nose or hit her with a brick to make her cum.

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

The fact that I came up with a plan to fully rob a fool, and then forgot who it was that I was supposed to rob. Shows that I'm really not a criminal

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

@Ohh_Hali Absolutely no haylee's or haylies !!

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

This quarantine is killing my comedic value. Hard to write anything but a masterbation joke when your stuck at home doing nothing but....uhhh writing jokes.

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

"I mean I think your really funny, but all your jokes are dark and alot of them are depressing" " Ooh yeah thats just the trauma showing from within the joke"

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

When you spend the time breaking down walls, and find a monster.

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

Aren't you glad to meet me? I'd be glad to meet me. You should really be happier.

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

I got a little water bottle full of whiskey
Oh, you lookin pretty like a model you should kiss me
You so cool with your drugs and your ripped jeans
I'm with you, but you ain't with me

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

@Ohh_Hali Gotta get drunk and be somebody!

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

Sometimes you meet someone, and you're willing to change all those shitty things about yourself do the work and grow into a bigger person. Because you never want it to go back to how it was.

[Ian A Buyck @p3n7ium]

@Ohh_Hali Yikes! 😆 I wouldn't suggest that to anyone.

[Khloë 🇨🇦 @khloe]

I say “Eh” and I say “y’all” that my friends is a perfect blend 🇨🇦❤️🇺🇸