Peter

[Louise @Swift__Girl]

I mean…

Logically…

Surely we can all make the connection…

That they aren’t any more enhanced now than before… 🎩❓😏

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

Championship Manager 97-98 is the greatest computer game of all time, by a very wide margin.

[ 〓〓 @GavinCurnow]

@dank_ackroyd You can't say 'Alright David Bailey!' to someone showing you a photo these days because of woke

[J Stewart @triffic_stuff_]

“BUCKET LOADS OF C*NT” 😳

Shocking Slip During Live Weather Forecast 😱

Picture the scene: BBC weatherman Alex Deakin is live on air, giving the forecast with a straight face.

"By and large though, it’s simply a lovely winter’s day tomorrow… bucket loads of c*nt… er, sunshine… across central and eastern areas." 😂

You can almost see the exact moment his brain short-circuited. One second he’s describing pleasant weather, the next he’s accidentally promising the entire country bucket loads of something very different. 😭

The stutter, the correction, but carries on like a pro 🫡

What exactly was on this poor man’s mind mid-forecast? 🤔🤣

[Ed @iBrowsie]

Already listened to 'When The Lights Go Out,' 'Everybody Get Up,' 'Keep On Movin’,’ Until The Time Is Through’ and 'Slam Dunk.’ I think that constitutes my 5ive A Day.

[Corey Quinn @QuinnyPig]

Amazon is reportedly working on a new smartphone codenamed "Transformer." This is being designed by the same people who brought us the @awscloud Management Console, and I have never been more terrified by a consumer electronics product in my life.

A thread...

[Louder with Crowder Dot Com @LWCnewswire]

"And to another woman who likes to be double-fisted, in a different way, I think, Jess."

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to this classic.

[Sunday League @SundayShoutsFC]

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND WATCH THIS FREE KICK AT THE WOMEN’S ASIAN CUP 😱🇮🇳

[INFOSEC F0X 🔥 @infosec_fox]

I wanna see the CEO of Concur doing an expense report.

Like why do I need to utilise my hotel stay.

[no context the west wing @LemonLymancom]

"I'm a citizen. I'm Joe Betherson...sen. That's one 't', and with an 'h' in there."

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

https://t.co/VWSxlk4QdY

[Peter @p_mcgee]

@yoongiclip I did get through after continually clicking to register but by that time only the masterclass was available

[Peter @p_mcgee]

@yoongiclip I got the same for my wife…no idea if they’re sold out already or the sites crashed.

For those asking, this is after the green dots!

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Corey Quinn @QuinnyPig]

“End tech debt forever with @awscloud transform”

Counterpoint: I will bet you a house it will not do that.

[Corey Quinn @QuinnyPig]

We just passed the five year anniversary of Amazon apologizing for the Troubles.

[SaltyAom @saltyAom]

Let me introduce you to this new format called CSV

[Championship Manager 01/02 @cm0102legends]

Naill Quinn and Kevin Phillips December 1999 - Christmas Fancy dress, Sunderland Town Centre

[Peter @p_mcgee]

@nocontextfm1 The game crashing after losing 4-0 to Spurs was a blessing