preston

JD Power Award Winner

[preston @p_town98]

Walked by a restaurant a while ago and didn’t break eye contact with a guy eating facing the window. It felt like we shared that meal for about 6 seconds. We had the spaghetti. It was delicious.

[preston @p_town98]

@bbushdong Only one thing to do. We start a go fund me. Buy the place. Fill it with sand.

[preston @p_town98]

I just realized a large majority of men from the 5th floor come up to our floor to take their shits. There is a war about to be waged. Comments and battle tactics are appreciated.

[preston @p_town98]

They’re making this poor guy clean the damn bathrooms. What has this world come to.

[preston @p_town98]

@Braves

[preston @p_town98]

We just might cut this game to 40!

[preston @p_town98]

@dustyslay There’s a documentary about homeless guys that bomb down hills in shopping carts in their free time called “CARTS OF DARKNESS” give it a watch on YouTube.

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

Jalen Brunson in 2 games against the Hawks:

First quarter of Game 1: 8-11 FG

Next 7 quarters: 11-37 FG 📉

[preston @p_town98]

@ick_real

[preston @p_town98]

Reheated a Chicfila nugget tray to bring to my brother’s party

[preston @p_town98]

@Danny484337 @ATLHawks @Ticketmaster He’s reaching so hard he typed out the lineup lmao

[preston @p_town98]

I get specifically annoyed when waitresses ask “Have you dined with us before?” And when I say no they just go “Welcome!”

That’s it? “Welcome?” Tell me how you’re different. how do you stand out? give me a SWOT analysis. I will leave this chilis right now.

[preston @p_town98]

My coworker just said she has never heard of Chuck Norris….

[preston @p_town98]

People were really mad this guy didn’t win MVP…

[preston @p_town98]

This is poetic somehow

[preston @p_town98]

If I told a U10 baseball team to play me and my two adult friends for the field like the Benchwarmers the police would probably get involved.

[preston @p_town98]

Picked up a “scam likely” call and just started making fart noises into my phone. Made me smile when I heard all the scammers laughing in the background.

[preston @p_town98]

“So you have a franchise player wearing number 7, and a lefty quarterback named Michael. And they’re two different players?”

“Yes, Dave.”

“And people didn’t think the Falcons were back?”

“That’s correct, Dave.”

[preston @p_town98]

Family update: My dad is fucking sick and now goes by “snake”