I don’t know how to deal with any of this. So many emotions and problems keep flooding in, and it feels like no matter what I do, I can’t solve them all. I’m sorry, really sorry. I’m such a terrible person.
Even I find myself unbearable to look at… I just want to die so I don’t have to worry about anything anymore. Wouldn’t that mean I could finally relax, finally be free? My heart is so tired, so powerless.
I can’t even make a firm decision—why do I hesitate? Wasn’t everything I did for her good? What was I even thinking? Why can’t I handle even something so small? What right do I have to love anyone? Maybe I shouldn’t exist, shouldn’t even be here.
I never realized love could be so fragile—that someone can just stop loving you. I’ve done so many things that have disappointed people, even when I thought I was making them happy. Turns out I’m nothing. I’m not worthy of being loved. I’m terrible. I can’t do anything right.