thee fernet bandit

alright come on seriously…

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

can’t even lie kamala kinda pimp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

can we get married? i think it’d be fun to divorce you

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

better than a million pieces, just several small ones ~r.j.g.

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

this is why we need a trampoline, because the sounds of the earth are so peaceful

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

man david dobrik gotta be gay the way he best friends w these girls

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

your eggs and ceviche will be gone when we pull up to the function

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

someone cooked here…

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

wielding a breakfast sausage like a cigar behind the wheel is something crazy

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

so a baby falls asleep after drinking a bottle and it’s cute but when i do it im an alcoholic… sure

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

just maneuvered the skin of a bean from some chili off my tooth into perfect flicking formation. might i add i sunk the shot of flickage into the trash can #dontworrydaddyshere

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

lotta hungry mfs w/ some cash

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

just trying to go back to those salvia video days

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

so you didn’t like the shaking of ass in the deli?!

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

just heard some guy say “i got in trouble and ended up with a child” do i ask about the context?

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

Pabst Blue Ribbon in hand singing ke$ha playing basketball in colorado public restroom, where are you in life?

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

i meet someone➡️they steal my swag➡️they leave

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

“grab it yourself, i’m not about to finger punch the pickle box”

[lucas @MushroomSoupGuy]

@pabstprofessor making this public because I paid your tab at lock. Fernet without me?? Punk ass

[lucas @MushroomSoupGuy]

trying to buy an iPhone with Garfield GO installed hmu with any details

[thee fernet bandit @pabstprofessor]

@MushroomSoupGuy i got flappy bird on a 2nd gen ipad what’s goody with your two shoes???