This is the greatest athletic achievement I have witnessed in my entire life. They will name stadiums after Jake Future. This changes everything and life will never be the same after this performance.
Girl (random not my lady) gave me a bag of “sweet tarts.
one of them tasted weird, didnt think much of it.
Here was me 2 hours later, woke up in the hospital. CANNOT believe I’m 2-0 against dying