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Undeniably brilliant concepts for books, stories and scripts, forever trapped in the concept stage by their author.

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Book idea: Suicide Note Mad-Libs. Leave 'em laughing!

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Next project: A thrilling 'Whodunnit' cookbook.

(Spoiler: it was the chef)

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Poetry idea: A book of Japanese verse, minimal effort.

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Book idea: Series of novels titled after other novels. Eg., "The Road by Cormac McCarthy" by Author. Or Author's "Bram Stoker's Dracula".

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Concept for musical act: Beatles tribute band, but spelled "Beetles". (Like the bug!)

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TV Show idea: Take existing book or TV show, but rewrite its characters as younger and sexier. And possibly American.

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Movie idea: Zombies, but the zombies are super-intelligent and charming. As expected, all killed by gun-toting rednecks.

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Product idea: Edible literature. HUGE boost in repeated sales on books and Kindles.

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Movie: Frustrated chef who has lost his passion for cooking discovers the simple joys of eating cereal from the box and uncooked hot dogs.

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Short story idea: Famous detective on cruise ship discovers a murder plot. Then realizes "F*** it, I'm on vacation." Cliffhanger ending.

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Book idea: "Green Eggs & Ham: A Guide to Food Service Safety & Sanitation"

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Movie idea: Woman recounts, through flashback, her husband's recollection of his childhood, also told through flashback.

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TV series: Young orphaned wizard raised by his cruel wizard uncle and aunt receives an invitation in the post to attend Catholic school.

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Movie idea: Detective working a murder case realizes that the victim is also the killer... and still at large!

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Short story: Man is given the chance by a genie to spend 48 hours as any animal he chooses. Tragically, he picks "mayfly".

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Character name for future use: Doctor Pulaputhes Bonzondarvarianopulous, Speech Therapist.

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Sci-fi movie: Scientist is marooned in an upsidedown world where humans are eaten by hamburgers & Yakov Smirnof just points out the obvious.

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Story: 3 boring people trapped in a mine pass time, each sharing his most exciting story. Each begins, "Once I was trapped in this mine..."

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TV reality show idea: "Nun of Your Business". Carmelites attempt to help small business owners find their lost customers and faith.

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Story idea: Admin's typo yields Excel formula proving God exists. Boss deletes, as it doesn't accurately track accounts. Universe vanishes.