Padres Doctor

I am the chief medical practitioner for the San Diego Padres.

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

@thestevenwoods @SDFan2378 Whose team is 10 games up over yours.

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

@dylanxshort Pretty funny coming from the braves fan.

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

@Eve_Barlow I think you need to look in the mirror. Nothing she has said is anti-semitic.

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

Sorry my brethren. My doctoral abilities can't help with matters if poor taste.

[jeremy @jphawkins__]

Joe Davis really ruins everything

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

Unfortunately my wisdom does not extend to fixing the brains of non-clutch, non-leaders.

[Bob Nightengale @BNightengale]

The San Diego Padres have now scored 1 run in the last 33 innings in the postseason.

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

@WelshFriar Looks like you've let me operate on your brain!

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

@PeterFonseca @ChiSportsBums I resemble this remark

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

@Howard_Cole Howard hitting the sauce while tweeting?

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

@jamesbarcia @ABC

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

Well, we didn't make it, Friar faithful. We beat our big brothers, though. We did best as we could against an anti-gold glove team AND we managed to keep Clev out of the Philly strip clubs.
Some more of my Vicks & essential oil sessions and this team is going all the way in 2023!

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

We have requested Blake Snell do the spankings, but he will stop around the 5th or 6th.

[Jeremy @Pimp_Lord619]

SOURCE: Tatis and Preller WILL be meeting today. I can confirm that Tatis will be receiving "8-10 spankings" for his behavior throughout the last 9 months. Unclear if the rest of the team will be taking part in the spanking(s)

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

Look, it was hard enough keeping the team out of AJ Preller's container full of baking soda he keeps in his desk.

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

@BoyslnBIue Look, the Vicks and essential oil could only do so much. I had to go to extreme measures.

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

Andro is LEGAL I DIDN'T VIOLATE THE RULES

[Jeff Passan @JeffPassan]

BREAKING: Padres star Fernando Tatis Jr. violated Major League Baseball’s performance-enhancing drug policy and is facing a suspension, sources familiar with the situation told ESPN.

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

It turns out I have not been included in the deal to go back to Washington for Soto. I have worked tirelessly around the clock this time to provide Preller with his "booger sugar" as he calls it.

Something about giving away the farm, but I never see any animals at his house.

[Jon Heyman @JonHeyman]

Big-time OF prospect James Wood is believed to be in the big package going to Nats in Soto deal

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

Given that I am a source, I can report that the Padres are close to reacquiring 42 year old Eric Stultz.

A flamethrower, he has been clocked at 70 from his home.

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

There is no ligament damage whatsoever as I successfully removed his arm for cryogenic freezing.

[AJ Cassavell @AJCassavell]

Sounds like the Padres are very encouraged with the results of an MRI on MacKenzie Gore’s elbow. Per a team official, that MRI revealed no ligament damage. The expectation is that Gore will be shut down two weeks, then he’ll begin a throwing progression.

[Kevin Acee @sdutKevinAcee]

Elbow soreness for MacKenzie Gore.

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

I have been informed that I've been included in a Padres trade package for Juan Soto that includes the entirety of the Padres farm system, the city of San Diego itself, and Preller's overpriced barrel of baking soda in his office.

[Padres Doctor @PadresDoktor]

I'm the sous chef

[Kevin Acee @sdutKevinAcee]

Fernando Tatis Jr. is important to Padres, and there are a lot of cooks in the kitchen affecting decision of when & how he begins his swing progression.
Doctors that have been confering are not in total agreement re: next steps.
This isn't necessarily bad. It is extreme caution.