paige

in the batmobile goin batshit

[paige @paigeolsonn]

might fuck around a start a dream journal on my twit. to kick it off, last night I had a dream that a famous singer brought me milk & told me to drink it. after I did he laughed & said it was from 1988. each time I puked it was a different kind of salsa

[paige @paigeolsonn]

“grab the toaster, I’m running a bath”

[paige @paigeolsonn]

@shannon_stearns I can’t believe The Shannon Stearns subtweeted me

[paige @paigeolsonn]

I should learn to separate twitter from real life bc I just said “I be actin up out here” to a real life family member above the age of 50

[paige @paigeolsonn]

@shannon_stearns I know you wanna kiss me, it’s fine

[paige @paigeolsonn]

mine was gonna be Austin. as a girl. imagine the amount of swag I’d have

[Raven Gates @ravengates]

What did your parents ALMOST name you? Mine almost named me “Pearly” after my great grandmother. Can you imagine that with my last name?? Pearly Gates. PEARLY. GATES.

[paige @paigeolsonn]

instead of overthinking before falling asleep, the past week it’s been cardi b screaming coronavirus in my head on repeat

[paige @paigeolsonn]

bro I promise you if I had the wide angle lens on my phone I would be 65% less bored bc those photos would crack me the hell up

[paige @paigeolsonn]

@BockBryn you’ve had 16 in the past year

[n @noahnoas]

social distancing

[paige @paigeolsonn]

@shannon_stearns oh awesome

[paige @paigeolsonn]

Bryn and I are so bored in quarantine that we’re on FaceTime, on https://t.co/Vs5EK6aclC, so we can be pen pals w some inmates

[paige @paigeolsonn]

another one from Bryn while writing her letter “we’re locked up for quarantine right now due to the Coronavirus, so I guess you could say I know how you feel”

[paige @paigeolsonn]

leah’s in on it now, here’s an actual quote from her. “he gets out in like two years.. why is my heart like beating fast for this guy... yeah he’s definitely my husband”

[paige @paigeolsonn]

@PostMalone if u want a pen pal during quarantine just hmu

[paige @paigeolsonn]

dude why does this feel like a Craig bomb threat but worse

[paige @paigeolsonn]

I just got a that’s so raven flashback after seeing her hair. I had my parents buy me a bump it in middle school (ladies hope u remember them), and I would always get so pissed bc I couldn’t get my hair to look as cool as her’s. simpler times <3

[Marcia Belsky @MarciaBelsky]

“I want to delete my Facebook but I don’t want to lose the photos!”

The photos:

[paige @paigeolsonn]

why do I think I should text every single person that pops into my brain when I’m drunk. that’s not how life works paige, chill the fuck out

[paige @paigeolsonn]

bro I had to stop at cvs after work & when I was done checking out, all 5 employees ran behind the counter & proceeded to ask if I wanted to participate in the ghost pepper challenge w them. all I gotta say is sean evans invite me on hot ones bc it was weak as shit