There’s a big difference between someone who wants to experience you and someone who wants to build a future with you. One enjoys the moment; the other invests in what comes next.
The most frustrating part of trauma memory:
Your logical mind knows you are safe in 2026. Your somatic memory thinks you are still trapped in 2012. Logic cannot convince a nervous system that is actively picking up a historic echo. So you keep having frequent flashback about the situations.
How to explain that CPTSD isn’t “bad stuff happened to me and I need to talk through it” but “so much bad stuff happened to me for so long that I have a rewired nervous system and don’t know how to relate to this world where my life isn’t actually in peril every single moment?”
El día que entiendas que poner límites no espanta a un buen hombre, te cambia la vida. El que se asusta cuando dices "esto no me gusta", "esto no lo acepto", no es tu persona, es tu alerta. El hombre correcto no se ofende porque te respetes; al contrario, se siente orgulloso de la mujer que eres.
cuando tuve 22 años caí en cuenta que si uno no ve el vínculo actual como algo a mejorar cada día y entender q es una constante construcción, todo vínculo que tengas va a ser pasajero aunque el nuevo sea mínimamente “mejor” pq la relación con un otro se trabaja manga de boludos
As someone living through this, when a lot of the trauma has come from people abusing your body, it’s difficult to describe to people how you want to not be in your body without them thinking that you are in crisis. You are living inside of the crime scene of the worst moments of your life. And, it’s difficult to get proper help. It’s isolating and your body isn’t even a safe place to hide in.
one thing i know about CPTSD is that healing happens in relationship. not just in therapy. not just in books. but in the experience of being with another person who stays. who doesn’t punish you for your feelings. who doesn’t leave when things get complicated. the nervous system heals in connection because it was wounded in connection
Uno tiene que saber amigarse con sus contradicciones. Sino, vas a volverte loco cada vez que te salgas del renglón. No sos un arquetipo, contenés multitudes, inevitablemente vas a incurrir en incoherencias. Y está bien.
When you hurt someone and maintain a relationship with that person, they may bring it up again. They may need more clarity. Even if you have apologized, they may bring it up. And when that happens, it is on YOU to be patient and have a discussion about it. If you hurt that person, it's not up to you to tell them when and how to heal. If you are truly sorry and care about them, you gotta deal with those uncomfortable feelings about how they're still hurting over something. These are the consequences of your actions.