The saddest part is that I would never just end it all, that’s too easy. The best way to punish myself for being this pathetic is to live out my life, alone, depressed, hating myself. It’s what I deserve. I don’t deserve happiness.
I’m such a fucking pathetic loser. I actually hate that I’ve made it to 40, I always imagined I’d die young. Now I’m just alone, with nothing but my negative thoughts and anxiety to keep me company. No one will ever want such an underachieving piece of shit like me.