Alana Smithee

She/Her

[Lisa @lisathebeauty1]

No matter how desperate you are, don’t ever buy a 128GB phone😭

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

"overdressed" is a social construct created by haters.

[em @embbyg]

hearing “you’re so mean” from men >>>>

[Docket Diva 👩🏾‍⚖️ @_LaJanee_]

Black parents really need to have a conversation with their children about being the only Black kid in friend groups. It’s not safe.

[Vanesa.Mkh🇿🇦 @Mokgomotsim]

Shoutout to women like you who marry men like him so we don’t have to 🙏🏾

[Alana Smithee @paradisefloss]

@soleiljolina Scrolling X makes me angry, IG calms me down lol

[Klarush 🇦🇱 😽 @ICameBack5]

Older men are not more mature. They are just less attractive, less youthful and with less hair (a downgrade).

[shostakovich @vivelaurent]

my new "dating" method is meeting men and forgetting they exist until they text me and idk i just think this is the best way moving forward

[Alana Smithee @paradisefloss]

Apt hunting on Craigslist and seeing $3400 a month for a 450sq ft condo I’m gonna crash the fuck out

[Alana Smithee @paradisefloss]

@woofwoof1030 @StubHub @FIFAWorldCup No blue check, just being trifling and musty for the love of the game 🫡

[miia @miiagarro]

men lie about the most findoutable shit like please go to hell

[Lyn🦋 @_ayandamay]

The fact that women don’t excessively sleep around despite how high our sex drives are shows we can actually control ourselves and we have sexual discipline.

[Alana Smithee @paradisefloss]

@DailyHiveVan

[Alana Smithee @paradisefloss]

That heirloom tomato is the closest I’ll ever get to seeing God

[Raportory @raportory]

Bir kadın, 28 aylık oğlu için hazırladığı öğle yemeğini paylaştı.

[😡😡😡😡 @Misandrist2000]

"Behind every successful man is a woman" was never a compliment. It's an admission that women's labor, sacrifice, and invisibility are the foundation men build their success on, and then take full credit for standing on top of.

[🐻 @woman0fwise]

Even men know they age like milk

Men peak at 18. Women peak at 30.

[Mia♡ @luxemiaa]

So I'm on a first date and I'm wearing my jade bracelet.

He notices it and I tell him I got it in Chinatown in Singapore.

He goes they don't call it Chinatown there.

I said they definitely do.

He said no, pretty sure they don't.

I just looked at him for a second and asked if he had ever been to Singapore.

He said no.

No he has not been to Singapore. He has never set foot in Singapore. He has no personal experience of Singapore or its neighborhoods or what anyone there calls anything. And yet he was sitting across from me on a first date confidently correcting me about a place I have personally visited and a market I personally bought a bracelet in with my own hands.

Pretty sure they don't.

Pretty sure based on what. Based on nothing. Based on a feeling he had about Singapore from wherever he was sitting that was not Singapore.........

[Alana Smithee @paradisefloss]

One con about not being Terminally Online is having to spend 5 minutes scrolling comments to find lore behind a tweet everyone fuckign gets except me

[MIKASA @FitFeministt]

The real reason why women suddenly start looking hotter after a breakup or divorce is actually science backed.
That man is not only traumatising you, he’s also raising your cortisol levels and making you UGLIER.😭

[𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓪 🐸 @princesalamwane]

The comments from men under this tweet, because a woman in her thirties is happy being alone: