Paradox Chimp

Misunderstood by psychiatrists, in the mind of sports stars, and currently in form at Liverpool FC. Parody

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

Knew I recognised Gary Monk from somewhere...

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

England are back steam-rolling the likes of Norway with crushing penalty victories. Time for a Guinness http://t.co/RDv6LWmKxF #Top5Guinness

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

Swansea just scored against Man U and I did the @rioferdy5 laugh off the BT Sport ad. Then remembered I'm a chimp.

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

@EvsBristol his name's Fernando. Fernandihno's not playing.

[Football on TNT Sports @footballontnt]

Get ready for another unmissable season on BT Sport! #btsport
https://t.co/0J9Bi7QJNO

[Football on TNT Sports @footballontnt]

Season defining moments on BT Sport! #btsport
https://t.co/aO2ac7mw9Z

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

It's official - Mathieu Debuchy has signed for @Arsenal! Get the details here: http://t.co/hEHyrLXbLk #WelcomeDebuchy

[Football on TNT Sports @footballontnt]

Get ready for more unmissable football on BT Sport! #btsport
https://t.co/dbBkzaffC4

[Football on TNT Sports @footballontnt]

Get ready for another unmissable season on @btsport! #btsport
https://t.co/QnQS1uMhio

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

I'm International football's Jiminy Cricket. I'm in your ear Wilshere. No bowler hat like that Disney gimp though #footyconscience

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

Arsenal on course for 10-0 loss here #thatswhyilovethissport

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

Serious case of mistaken identity on @BTSport #mental

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

Ta Da Espanol. Speaking of which, Roy you got those return flight reference numbers handy?...

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

I'm like Olly the Octopus...though I've only got two legs, and I prefer scratching my arse than pretending to predict World Cup results

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

People's chimps are impulsive, passionate & direct. Exactly what this England team needs. Beats all that patient passing crap #chimpparadox

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

Sven-Goran Eriksson: "My biggest mistake was not taking a psychiatrist to the World Cup". Really Sven? Not marrying Ulrica? The fake sheikh?

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

Frank Lampard: "Yeah it's hot. The humidity's there for everyone to see". Come on Frank, even you don't believe that. #footballergeography

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

Danny Mills: Equador are slow, slow, fast-fast, slow. Whereas England are just...average, average..err..average. Cheers Danny #badphysics

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

It's bloody roasting in Miami. Steve Peters is rumoured to be roaming the hotel rooms in a mankini to 'keep spirits up' #sportspsycholad

[Paradox Chimp @paradoxchimp]

Heading out to Portugal for the lads' training camp. Heard Gazza and Jimmy 5 bellies are there for moral support #dentistschair