Jamie

One Mouthy Broad.

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

@daisyJD @amalah Oof. Okay - thx

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

@daisyJD @amalah I’ve been up feeding the baby and searching for her somewhere in the ether - can’t find anything yet.

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

@daisyJD Wait. This all came from that pic of your fridge? WTH is going on with people?

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

@jonniker Sent something empty?

[manwhohasitall @manwhohasitall]

TIME TO GET UP DADS! Before your wife & kids. Now is a good time to mop the floor, clean the sink & worry about pumpkins. 'Me time'.

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

Dear @blueapron - what is with the eggplant these days? Cheap, filling, I get it. Except I hate eggplant. Please stop. Geez.

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

YUP. lenadunham's photo https://t.co/eew38l3KoD

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

@NoodleHeiress as it should be.

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

@NoodleHeiress I've been waiting for someone to say the obvious. Pumpkin patch time couldn't come soon enough!

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

@shriekhouse Jesus. I can't stop staring at it.

[Mo Rocca @MoRocca]

What a dick. https://t.co/8YuwoLQZdu

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Garrison Keillor Fully Deflates After Massive Sigh

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

@NoodleHeiress that is a look of love! She's almost demure.

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

6mo checkup indicates the baby is too fat to easily roll or sit. Other parents may be offended. I'm all "yeah, I could see that." #2ndchild

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

@daisyJD hope you're feeling better - safe travels!

[Anthony Oliveira @meakoopa]

hang on lemme read that Scalia dissent again http://t.co/dWAIbLGr2o

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

@daisyJD potato salad. Baked beans. Slightly charred hot dogs! Obv we've found my fave food genre.

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

Too many closed minds on gun control. Worse, far too many PROUDLY closed minds. Meanwhile, the American shooting gallery remains open.

[Joe @HickoryRidgeJoe]

Six years, three cups is a lot better than two girls, one cup. #Blackhawks

[Jamie @parallelfirst]

@daisyJD ugh. I am in the basement with the kids. Stay safe!