levi parker

[levi parker @parkerpen]

http://t.co/TDmC2UXhui Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

[levi parker @parkerpen]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/t1yhCLzf25

[levi parker @parkerpen]

"It's not you, it's me. " - twins looking at family photos http://t.co/9thJdj5LyC

[levi parker @parkerpen]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/luSKko3Os3

[levi parker @parkerpen]

http://t.co/sNRATHFDqe Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

[levi parker @parkerpen]

No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. http://t.co/zr2iuv4eRR

[levi parker @parkerpen]

It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you http://t.co/aG9S194ZRu

[levi parker @parkerpen]

http://t.co/CHAjp6TZXe Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you?

[levi parker @parkerpen]

Still good at casually flexing my bicep the second before a girl touches it. http://t.co/H1QHA7wz

[levi parker @parkerpen]

"You want me to copy AND paste a link? I am not made of time, good sir!" Humanity, 2011 http://t.co/LAWizOhr

[levi parker @parkerpen]

http://t.co/T6uWELQW Happy to report that I just made People magazine's list of top 100 million people on Twitter.

[levi parker @parkerpen]

Rosetta Stone is the fastest way to learn how to pronounce the names of Ikea products. http://t.co/IvW8OuU7

[levi parker @parkerpen]

http://t.co/mV8Jwkpa Yawning Is our body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining

[levi parker @parkerpen]

http://t.co/wlQ8GVQd Going to a Yahtzee party. I hope that isn't slang for something gay. Well, gayer than Yahtzee.

[levi parker @parkerpen]

That's offensive -- Pikachu is his slave name. http://t.co/uNsE401G

[levi parker @parkerpen]

http://t.co/jomqk7GB Adults never get excited anymore about how big I got since they last saw me :(

[levi parker @parkerpen]

http://t.co/3dp04lcQ Nipples: Nature's thermometer.

[levi parker @parkerpen]

I bet pain pills are really disappointing to masochists not familiar with the language. http://t.co/LLunYigG

[levi parker @parkerpen]

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO, OR AS IT'S KNOWN AS IN ARIZONA, "CINCO DE WHAT-O? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST-O, PACO" http://t.co/SyvJ3StY

[levi parker @parkerpen]

If God wanted you in church all morning, why did he invent fun? http://t.co/BADWeL36