Matt Parrott

Husband. Father.

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

@SChecoPerez is all class. Watching Max switchout tires on the last lap to take the fastes lap from his @redbullracing teammate is absolute garbage.

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

@chefjoseandres @Carlossainz55 @SChecoPerez has been pretty good today as well Chef. You're right tho, @Carlossainz55 should be ahead of Lec.

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

Check out Alex Pearlman's video! #TikTok https://t.co/VOEbAWYZ7t

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

If imitation is the highest form of flattery, consider me flattered AF.

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

Watching old men with money try and bully old men without money is my new favorite pastime.

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

It’s cool when the trash takes itself out.

[Jimmy Kimmel @jimmykimmel]

To my friends in Dallas who are asking: I do not know whether our @ABCNetwork affiliate @wfaa cut away from my monologue tonight intentionally or inadvertently but I will find out. In the meantime, here's what you didn't get to see https://t.co/tqfHoBHMwN

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

@jesse_buck You’re basically the best hashtag game on Twitter right now. #obvious

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

@jesse_buck Wilco - Sky Blue Sky

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

@SourPatchKids 11.5

[Bradley Whitford @bradleywhitford]

For the GOP, children slaughtered in their classrooms is the cost of freedom while wearing a mask in the middle of a deadly pandemic is too high a price to pay. “Sanctity of life”, my ass. They are a death cult.

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

@HiMyNameIsSeton No, we're aware, just wish we weren't.

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

Wow. Is there a worse way to spend $7mil. That was a rough one. #pepsihalftime https://t.co/zDHKeFRGgH

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

If anyone had a right to question whether our democracy was worth redeeming, it was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Because in the face of billy clubs and lynchings, poll taxes and literacy tests, he never gave in to violence, never waved a traitorous flag or gave up on our country.

[John Smith Chicago @JohnSmithChgo]

To anyone complaining about a private media company kicking Trump off their platform:

Think of Twitter as a Christian bakery and Trump as a gay wedding cake.

#BanTrumpFromTwitter

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

@Tuc5150 @13OYSwx @13WeatherBall @weatherchannel Why is the carpet all wet Todd?

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

@Tuc5150 You should probably invite some friends over to play.

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

@tomsegura 11.5 or 12 f you wanna unload any. Very sorry to hear about your incident. Heal quick! You’re kinda funny.

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

I’m about 95% sure our old neighbors were serial killers, the new neighbors put antlers and a red nose on their car for the holidays, I think I want the old neighbors back. #holidayspirit

[Matt Parrott @parmapie]

There's still a few good ones out there. Thank you!

[Tuc Bosch @Tuc5150]

We enjoyed so many great pizza’s and burgers from you guys you became our families Thursday night ritual but more important are the friendships we made. We look forward to partaking in the next part of your journey. Stay safe my friends. @StandardPizzaCo @parmapie