i am parker

what brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; how come you’re here? #mffl #OTSTN

[i am parker @parnspiger]

Shepherd: Any last words
Soap: Mmmm whatcha say

[Aelfred The Great @aelfred_D]

“For the last time, Mr. Wonka, I did not try any experimental gum, and frankly I find this entire line of questioning insulting.”

[Sigпalpеsтт @signalpestt]

Zanzibar - Halo 3

[Christopher Powers @CPowers14]

Incredible things are happening on Tik Tok

[Michael S. Kim @Mike_kim714]

Story thx to Aaron Flener:

A player was playing the 4th hole at the Farmers, and hit it left into the hazard. On the next hole (player in bathroom), his caddie pulls out his phone and shows the rest of the group a map of the US, and says “He had the ENTIRE UNITED STATES to the right and my guy hits it into the Pacific Ocean.” 😂 😂

[Pete Hailey @PeteHaileyNBCS]

Ohhhhh I’m Ludvig Aberg. I hit the ball a mile and a half. I have perfect skin and a perfect swing. My teeth could blind you every time I smile. I just made multiple millions of dollars for winning a golf tournament. Everything I wear fits me extremely well. Ohhhhhhh

[col in @virtueofnovelty]

bread lowkey fire tho. and the circus is soooo fun. especially w friends

[i am parker @parnspiger]

The CostCo Guys being on Jimmy Fallon is the surest sign of Late Stage Capitalism

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

transcending time

[IcyVert @IcyVert]

dudes with a 1.4 GPA when it’s time to do a cod zombies easter egg

[i am parker @parnspiger]

@ben_metzler What up primals ☝️

[Matthew Dominick @dominickmatthew]

Timelapse flying by Hurricane Milton about 2 hours ago.

1/6400 sec exposure, 14mm, ISO 500, 0.5 sec interval, 30fps

[i am parker @parnspiger]

Hunting and gathering today (driving to chipotle and bringing it back to my desk)

[andy from 5 to 7 @ChampagneAnyone]

how is she getting all these guests??

[i am parker @parnspiger]

Ordered a half order of nachos and they only brought 3. A half order should be at least 6. Right?