maddy

i regret to inform you about your girls pussy

[maddy @paskettibaby]

yeah, u could say i'm into e-sports 😎

[maddy @paskettibaby]

one good thing about covid is that it has killed handshakes, finally freeing me from having to choose between the lefty shuffle or the frantic marionette act i must perform every time i meet somebody

[maddy @paskettibaby]

my favorite genre of underwear is “i got my period in public and need to buy exactly one pair of underwear at this walmart as fast as i possibly can and it looks like these panties with harley quinn on them have fulfilled that need”

[milk 2 @bigtimemilk]

are there people out there that don’t have stomach issues ? like ur stomach just normal as hell ?? sounds not real

[maddy @paskettibaby]

y’all invest a lot of time and energy into vilifying a woman whose hottest take is “women need to retain and protect sex-based rights”

did any of you even read rowling’s original article? or did you just see what misogynists had to say about it and decided to go with that?

[HEART ATTACK MAN @HeartAttackMane]

Heart Attack Man McDonalds meal is just a loaded gun in a happy meal box

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

Citizen Kane is one of the best movies of all time. And Im saying that as someone who isnt a movie critic. Hell Ive never seen a movie. Yesterday I was a cockroach and now Im a guy. Theres a book about that I think but backwards. Not sure though. Im still catching up on stuff

[maddy @paskettibaby]

a perennial classic

[crybaby @seaweed_crybaby]

Wes Anderson’s Clockwork Orange

[maddy @paskettibaby]

slav squatting behind the dumpster, for flavor text

[maddy @paskettibaby]

“just bummed a cigarette from my assistant manager” is where i’m at emotionally tonight

[glucosebiscuit 🥀 @glucosebiscuit]

GIVE UP EVERYTHING FOR NOTHING

[maddy @paskettibaby]

have we considered that human existence is just a tv show for the gods that jumped the shark a while ago

[GORDON @VisualNostalgia]

Assorted Pink Japanese Sega Dreamcast Discs (1999-2001)

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

I Saw That Gremlin on the Wing Too, I Just Didn’t Make a Whole Thing of It

https://t.co/DMdCYs8UbI

[extremely online bot @mullbot_forever]

Dying in a head on collision because I had to tweet “Pokémon Gay & Straight” while driving

[dollar store kirk hammett @olivesagan]

POV: you’re an 18 year old girl and you’re about to get chlamydia

[maddy @paskettibaby]

working primarily with teenagers has reminded me that they all think you shrivel and turn to dust the day you turn 25