Patrick Bateman

Reservations. Moisturizers. Crosswords. Salon. That whole YALE thing. Ending Apartheid. Threesomes. Fine chardonnay. Chainsaws. Fitting-in. Balanced diet.

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

@caitand21 We should have dinner. Dorsia?

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

@suiiigetsu Are you into threesomes?

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

@laurkobes There are a lot MORE important things than trying to be me.

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

Don’t touch the watch.

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

Drank @FUKKcola last night & lasted 3 extra rounds w/ a blonde named Christie whilst listening to Phil Collins Sussudio- a personal favorite

[Paul Allen @830rezatDorsia]

Alumni (# of Billionaires/Total Wealth): 1. Harvard (52/$205) 2. UPenn (28/$112) 3. Stanford (27/$76) 4. NYU (17/$68) http://t.co/g7aa7ZPyGD

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

The Asian woman buffing my nails squinted her eyes into a perfect hyphen as she gazed at the dried blood in my nailbeds. She received no tip

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

My boxer briefs cost $99 per per and are hand-crafted by Italian female virgins and only 100% Egyptian cotton

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

I perform 50 Spiderman pushups w/ perfect form and exfoliate my laser-hair-removed groin before I masturbate w/ Essence from Crème de la Mer

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

Listen. When I fuck you, I’m going to scare you — because I’m a yuppie and I can do things

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

This morning: I feel like shit, but look great

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

@sara_smillie, nice jacket. Matsuda?!

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

@TrulyGinalynn when are you performing in NYC?!

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

I hope you’re into couples RT @DamnBabyJ: #ForOneDayIWishICouldHangWith Patrick Bateman

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

@ElrodeoUK feed me a stray cat

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

The hardbodies are out in full force today. It’s day’s like these I purposely drop my ostrich condom case on the pavement for gawking eyes

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

Robe shopping has become so commercialized these days…

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

Anyone have dinner suggestions? Only requisite is that the menu has to be in Braille

[Patrick Bateman @PatBateman_]

#NowPlaying Phil Collins - “Sussudio”

[Harvard Business School @HarvardHBS]

Happy New Year! http://t.co/F84KBmc2