Pate Gardner

I think I’m a comedian. Instagram: @pate_gardner

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

Wait, if we’re both adulting… who’s driving the struggle bus?!

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

Is it helpful to watch Minions before Despicable Me or can I just watch them in the order they came out?

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

@jonathanseal777 With Kevin Hart

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

My cousin said they’re redoing Die Hard with the Rock

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

Moo deng more like mood ring. That anything?

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

If there’s not a wadded up napkin in my pocket, call the coroner. I’m gone.

[Zak Toscani @zak_toscani]

If you hear emergency sirens in your town, that means there’s a low ticket alert for a Zak Toscani standup show near you

10/24 - Florence, SC - secret location
11/1 - Asheville, NC - Catawba Brewing
11/8 & 11/9 - New Orleans - Sports Drink
11/13 - Jackson, MS - Hal and Mals

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

Call me a Haitian immigrant the way I got that dog in me

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

50 First Dates: 10/10 romcom. Are the implications of the ending frightening? Of course. But cinema requires us to suspend our disbelief

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

Looks like I picked the right time to get really into picking up flaming logs

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

@cousinwayne You sure know how to make a gal blush

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

Just saw Longlegs and I had to ride home with the radio on 89.7 WMHK

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

@TheBlavery

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

Listen I read his little book a few years ago and it’s the dumbest shit I ever actually finished

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

Thoughts and prayers to everybody at a comedy show tonight

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

I’m gonna eat so much tomorrow. The 4th is my Thanksgiving

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

Holdin in a dookie

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

Dentist the Mentist

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

They should make Gogurt that comes in a little bowl so you can eat it with a spoon

[Pate Gardner @pate_gardner]

Y’all’s AirPod cases are dirty?? I just let my dog lick mine clean